Sick day

Snuggling with JD while we watch Alias and my stomach wages war on my body.

A little piece of Jackson

My sweet friend Melissa sent this pretty necklace to me. I love it and I love her.

Boy's room

Gave the kid's room a tiny makeover because they have so many toys. Some are going in storage until J is older and some are going to Goodwill. Noah is enjoying reading in his new circus tent. It's just what I would have done when I was little.

Christmas presents!

Here are some of the wonderful things we got for Christmas! I am really enjoying the homemade things. My dad made Chris a little box for all his things he tends to lose...ear buds, sunglasses, wallet etc. and it has a white board on it so I can write him love notes (or a to do list). Deb made me magnets from grandma Sarah's old dresses and a cool memo pad. I do love lists! Chris got me a couple cute sweaters and a new pretty journal. We also got lots of gift cards. And the boys got so many wonderful things. Too many to list! God is kind to keep providing nice things for sinners like us.

Noah is funny

A few funny Noah moments...

At the grocery store, "Hi friend! Hi people!" (to everyone that walks by) " I say hi friends. He say hi back." (Keeping me in the loop.)

Noah went in to wake up Chris, "Wake up Daddy! It's coffee time. There's coffee."

Me: "I love you Noah."
Noah: "I sure love you."

Me: "Let's go!"
Noah: "Break it down!"
(For you Yo Gabba Gabba fans)

A few Christmas photos

Here are a few photos from Christmas at my mom and dad's house. I love the ones with all the cousins in their pajamas. I can see it being passed around and enjoyed when they are all in high school. I look at their little faces and try to imagine what they will look like and who they will be in ten years. I pray The Lord gives them eyes to see their need for Christ.

Celebrating the Holidays with Family

Two things...

First, I finally got rid of my Facebook account...maybe just for a little while or maybe forever. I haven't quite decided. I have weighed the pros and cons for many years and the pros always won out, but I had a moment last week where it all seemed so clear that I needed to get rid of Facebook. I got rid of it for probably the same reasons you (my one or two readers) may have considered getting rid of it yourself. I need to find a better, less distracting way to update my friends and family on our life and let them see how our little boys are growing. Sooo, I'm going to really, really, very much try to keep this blog as updated as possible!

Second, we had a wonderful time with family over the holidays! We spent four days with my family in Frazier Park over Thanksgiving and it was super relaxing and fun to watch the kids play for hours. In between Thanksgiving and Christmas I decorated our apartment for Christmas, had some folks from our new Bible study over a couple times, and just hung out mostly. For Christmas Mike and Debbie came to CA and we kept them very busy. We went to the Grace Church Christmas concert, went to Love Sushi (and roll) and looked at Christmas lights, took them to Chik Fil A, etc. Then we spent a few days with my family in Frazier Park.

This year we did a gift exchange among the adults where we drew a name and a letter and we had to get them a gift that started with that letter and was under $10. It was SO fun! I got my mom and I was able to get her Encouragement (a note from me), Exfoliate (a homemade coffee sugar scrub), Enjoy (a carmel eclair from Porto's), Example (Biographical sermons on missionaries), Entertainment (two tickets to the movie theater) and Energy (some Peet's coffee)...all for under the $10. Debbie got me and she got me a Magazine subscription, Magnets, Memo pads, a Map and Mints. It was so fun to see what everyone came up with and I'm loving using the homemade part of my gifts.

Next time I blog I will try my hardest to post some photos!

Californians

O. M. Gosh. It is like soooo hot in LA right now and I am so totally ready to wear my skinnies, my boots and my new fab scarves.

Just kidding. I have been in CA for 2 months, but I don't talk like that yet. And I won't be wearing anything like skinny jeans for a very long time. But, it is crazy hot here and I am missing the crisp fall days in Jackson.

A godly woman shared with me last week that I need to be like Paul in Philippians 3:13 when he says, "But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead." She said the things we need to forget aren't always the bad, sinful things, but sometimes the wonderful things can become a distraction and an encumbrance that hinders us from running the race set before us with excellence. My thoughts about Jackson have been just that lately: an encumbrance and a source of discontentment. I know it's okay to miss my friends and miss my church, but I have so much to be thankful for about where we are at right now!!

Here are a few examples...

God graciously provided a job for Chris.... and it's just perfect for him! He is working at Peet's Coffee and Tea. It's only about 10 minutes from our house in Studio City, on Ventura Blvd. He LOVES coffee and is really enjoying to the job so far. We are praying for opportunities to share the Gospel with the people that he works with. Please pray that he gets more hours at work. He is only getting 12 hours right now and that is our main source of income.

We get to go to Grace Community Church. I feel like I'm in school again and it's wonderful. We hear a lot of wonderful teaching all week and it is encouraging me and pointing me to worship God regularly. As we study his Word, I am seeing his faithfulness to his people over and over and it's super encouraging. We get to hear 3 sermons every Sunday. John MacArthur has been doing a short series on abortion and homosexuality that is really moving me to compassion for people who are stuck in that sin.  Rich Gregory, our pastor of Mainstream, is teaching through Daniel and he is a really gifted teacher. On Sunday nights different leaders at the church are taking turns teaching on sanctification. Chris gets to go to TMS chapel two days a week, plus he has started the homework for his Old Testament class. I am going to Every Women's Grace and Seminary Wives every week and It has been wonderful accountability to dig in to the Word, to pray for other believers and to memorize scripture. One exciting thing is that my sister comes to EWG with me so I get to see her and the kids every week. It's such a blessing after four years away!

Our boys are healthy, happy, sleeping plenty, making new friends and just a joy to be around. Noah is in a serious heavy machinery phase that is all consuming. We are going to have a construction themed birthday party for him in a few weeks at my parent's house. On Thursday mornings he and I go to KinderGym at church and he gets to play with friends, learn a little Bible lesson, and eat snacks. It's super fun!

I am really thankful to connect with old friends and to make new friends. I have met a handful of really amazing women since I've moved here and it's been great to get to know them and their kids better. And it's been great to reconnect with old friends from Grace and get together with our kids. I've also been able to see some old, old friends from junior high and high school. So fun!

If you are reading this and want to pray for us, here are some specific ways that you could pray:

For Chris to get more hours at work.
For Chris and I to gain wisdom in how to grow in relationship with the people in our apartment complex. We have had some great conversations with people and are just trying to figure out how to serve them and share the Gospel with them. Pray specifically for Jim, Manny, Patricia and Fallon.
That God would keep providing for us financially.
That Chris would be well prepared for seminary!!
Last, we are hoping that Chris will eventually get hired at The Master's College as a security guard. Please pray a position opens up soon and that he gets hired!

A quick post

I just had to post a quick little update because Noah is saying the sweetest things lately and I don't want to forget it!

Yesterday I was feeding Jonathan and Noah came up and said, "Want to feed the baby..." as he lifted up his shirt. So funny!

Noah was standing in his highchair looking at Jonathan saying, "I wuv you baby Jonathan."

We spent time with Noah's cousins this weekend and since we got back he's been yelling across the house, "Auntie Becky!"

When Noah wakes up, he stumbles out of his room and says, "Where Daddy go? Where Baby Jonathan go?"

Some things we hear often:

"Help doing! Help doing! Help doing please!" if he loses a truck or gets stuck somewhere.
"Naked boy!" as he runs around the house naked.
"Whooooaaaa, big truck coming!"
"Mom, mom, mommy, momma, mom. Big truck."
"Loud noise." When I bring out the blender.
"Help Mommy."

If he gets into something he isn't allowed to touch and I tell him not to touch it, he looks at me very seriously and says, "That's Mommy's."

When we walk in the parking garage, I hear him whisper, "Careful, cars coming."

If I ask him what the Bible says, "Obey Mommy. Obey Daddy."

And lately if he doesn't want to do something I can coerce him by dinosaur-ing that thing. For instance, "Noah, take a big dinosaur bite," or "Okay, now stand on that dinosaur rug for a while," or "Let Mommy brush the dinosaurs out of your teeth." It's a wonderful trick.

Jonathan mostly just snuggles, eats, sleeps, and looks cute. He is starting to make more cooing noises and smile lots more. I just love everything he does.

Jonathan's Birth Story

Jonathan Daniel Buczinski

Born Friday June 29, 2012

at 11:53 am

9 stinkin' pounds and 14.8 ounces

It's Monday and we are back in the hospital because after J's first appointment we found out that his bilirubin levels are dangerously high. This affords me time to sit, read, think, sleep in the quietness of our hospital room while he sleeps on the bili-bed to bring those levels down. I thought I would take advantage of the time that I probably won't have again to write down a quick recap of last Friday.

Thursday I went in because I thought I was leaking fluid. I was 2 days over do and may have been wishful thinking that he was on his way. It turns out I wasn't leaking fluid (I know, "What was that then??") but Dr. George checked his fluid levels on the ultrasound and they were pretty low. He wanted to induce me. We went the same route we did with Noah and started things off with Cervidil. Chris and I went into the hospital Thursday night and by 5 am the Cervidil hadn't started labor, so they started me on a super low dose of pitocin. 

The whole night was really emotional for me. I wanted to have a natural birth and when they mentioned pitocin I was sure that I wouldn't be able to have one. I was crying and I woke up Chris and told him we should just plan to get the epidural because I wasn't going to be able to do it naturally while hooked up to an IV, etc. I realized that I had really begun to idolize the birth experience that I wanted to have instead of trusting the Lord to bring our son into the world healthy and in the manner that He sees fit. I was sinning and complaining because I wanted a healthy baby, but I didn't want the experience that God wanted for me! I explained that to Chris and then started to find joy in whatever the next step would be because I truly wanted to trust God with the birth experience. 

They started pitocin at 5 am and at about 6:30 am I asked Chris to get up with me and stand by the bed. We labored by the bed for about 4 hours. It's kind of funny how you find a little groove that works for you and you just do it. Chris rubbed my back and had me lean into his shoulder through each contraction. We ended up having these 4 wonderful hours together. Sure, they were riddled with painful contractions, but I was super emotional through the whole thing. I cried in between contractions because I was so thankful that our son would be here soon. I cried because I was grieving the change in relationship that I knew would happen with Noah and I. I cried because I heard the lady in the room next to me screaming as she delivered her baby. I cried because I was so thankful for Chris. I cried because the nurse kept telling me what a good job I was doing. 

When the contractions started getting a lot more intense we asked to use the tub to labor and it took about an hour for them to prep it for us. That hour was a good thing because it forced me to look to the goal of laboring in the tub. I depended on Chris a lot. He read Psalms 32 and 33 to me. I cried to think of God as my strength. I'm getting a little choked up now actually. 

I'm really thankful that those 4 hours were super manageable as far as pain goes. My labors seem to move quick and there wasn't a time during those 4 hours that I considered having an epidural because we were in such a good rhythm and each contraction felt very productive but not yet overwhelming.

Well, it's not called labor for nothing. It can't stay manageable for long. The unfortunate thing for me is that I always demand an epidural when it's way too late to get one. I got in the tub at about 7 cm and I immediately felt an amazing relief. I was almost able to sleep between contractions. I had about 2 contractions this way and then in the middle of one contraction I felt a "pop" and I think my water broke. Suddenly everything was very unmanageable. The contractions were way too intense and everything was moving very quickly. I started to lose it a little... okay, a lot. I was crying and saying that I had made the wrong decision and I wanted an epidural. I said lots of things like, "This is ridiculous! Why are we doing this, Chris?? Natural birth is sooooo dumb." Chris, Mary and Rachel (the two nurses) just kept saying, "Okay, we hear you, now lets just get through this next contraction," and I would say, "Who is calling the anesthesiologist?? No one has left to call him. I'm telling you that I have made the decision to have the epidural," and then more, "Okay, we hear you, lets get through this next contraction." They knew what I knew: that baby was a few contractions away and I would have to get through it. 

We got out of the tub and headed back to the room at about 8 or 9 cm. I stood at the end of the bed and yelled through each contraction and in between I kept saying how dumb it is to not get the epidural and how foolish we had been. Dr. Anthony got there and checked me and said that he was ready to be pushed out!! I was sooo scared that she was wrong and that I would have to push and push. Thankfully, I only pushed through 2 contractions. But it was truly awful. 

Jonathan came out and they put him on my chest. I was way too shook up by the pain of delivering him to even look at him. When the whole universe crashes down on your brain and you think you will pass out from pain, you just aren't all that eager to look at your baby. I kept hearing them say, "Oh my gosh!! He is huge!" Sure enough, he was huge. No wonder it hurt so bad!

It's amazing how quick you can go from the worst pain of your life to so much joy. It was wonderful to hold him and nurse him and in moments our family was changed forever. He is a chubby, snuggly, wonderful little baby that I can't get enough of. It's so fun to see Noah with him. Noah will come up and say, "Hold it?" So he sits and holds his brother before pushing him away and saying, "All done." We have had lots of help with Mike and Debbie here. I'm nervous for Saturday when they leave, but once again I will have opportunity to depend on God as my strength and to be sanctified through the sleeplessness, the chaos with a toddler, the nursing, and whatever else God brings my way. I'm thankful that in this moment I feel ready to tackle it because I know that there will be many moments to come that I don't think I can do it and I will have to cry out to my Rock and my Refuge for help. 

Chatter Box

Noah may not be real big on walking yet, but the kid LOVES to talk. I have wanted to share some of the wonderful words and expressions as of late!

"Ew...ew...ew."

(While I am changing his diaper)

"Ow!"

(To almost everything, but especially when he bumps his head

"Ah-oh"

(When he drops something... when Mommy drops something...anything that goes awry really.)

"More? More? Eat? Bite? Please? Please?"

(When he notices that you have food)

"MMMMmmmm!"

(When enjoying a tasty treat)

"Eye. Ear."

(While poking his little fingers in said places)

Noah also says these words...

Baby, Juice, Doggy, Cat, Duck, Aubrey, Nana, Papa, Mama, Dada, Up, Down (but these sound like "Ah" and "Da"), This, Hi!, Bye, No no no touch, All Done, Yes yes

I feel like that is so many words for a 15 month old! He is definitely "dragging his feet" (so to speak) when it comes to walking. He will walk a little bit around the house, but he knows he can get places much quicker by crawling.

He LOVES the dog. He LOVES to climb. He is really starting to love his "Nana Blanket" that he sleeps with and snuggles with. He likes to lay his head on a pillow and pretend to snore. He likes to snuggle with our friends that come over. He LOVES LOVES LOVES his Dada (what little boy doesn't?). Lately he likes to smash his face against my face...he gave me a fat lip today.

We can't get enough of him.