Jonathan's Birth Story

Jonathan Daniel Buczinski

Born Friday June 29, 2012

at 11:53 am

9 stinkin' pounds and 14.8 ounces

It's Monday and we are back in the hospital because after J's first appointment we found out that his bilirubin levels are dangerously high. This affords me time to sit, read, think, sleep in the quietness of our hospital room while he sleeps on the bili-bed to bring those levels down. I thought I would take advantage of the time that I probably won't have again to write down a quick recap of last Friday.

Thursday I went in because I thought I was leaking fluid. I was 2 days over do and may have been wishful thinking that he was on his way. It turns out I wasn't leaking fluid (I know, "What was that then??") but Dr. George checked his fluid levels on the ultrasound and they were pretty low. He wanted to induce me. We went the same route we did with Noah and started things off with Cervidil. Chris and I went into the hospital Thursday night and by 5 am the Cervidil hadn't started labor, so they started me on a super low dose of pitocin. 

The whole night was really emotional for me. I wanted to have a natural birth and when they mentioned pitocin I was sure that I wouldn't be able to have one. I was crying and I woke up Chris and told him we should just plan to get the epidural because I wasn't going to be able to do it naturally while hooked up to an IV, etc. I realized that I had really begun to idolize the birth experience that I wanted to have instead of trusting the Lord to bring our son into the world healthy and in the manner that He sees fit. I was sinning and complaining because I wanted a healthy baby, but I didn't want the experience that God wanted for me! I explained that to Chris and then started to find joy in whatever the next step would be because I truly wanted to trust God with the birth experience. 

They started pitocin at 5 am and at about 6:30 am I asked Chris to get up with me and stand by the bed. We labored by the bed for about 4 hours. It's kind of funny how you find a little groove that works for you and you just do it. Chris rubbed my back and had me lean into his shoulder through each contraction. We ended up having these 4 wonderful hours together. Sure, they were riddled with painful contractions, but I was super emotional through the whole thing. I cried in between contractions because I was so thankful that our son would be here soon. I cried because I was grieving the change in relationship that I knew would happen with Noah and I. I cried because I heard the lady in the room next to me screaming as she delivered her baby. I cried because I was so thankful for Chris. I cried because the nurse kept telling me what a good job I was doing. 

When the contractions started getting a lot more intense we asked to use the tub to labor and it took about an hour for them to prep it for us. That hour was a good thing because it forced me to look to the goal of laboring in the tub. I depended on Chris a lot. He read Psalms 32 and 33 to me. I cried to think of God as my strength. I'm getting a little choked up now actually. 

I'm really thankful that those 4 hours were super manageable as far as pain goes. My labors seem to move quick and there wasn't a time during those 4 hours that I considered having an epidural because we were in such a good rhythm and each contraction felt very productive but not yet overwhelming.

Well, it's not called labor for nothing. It can't stay manageable for long. The unfortunate thing for me is that I always demand an epidural when it's way too late to get one. I got in the tub at about 7 cm and I immediately felt an amazing relief. I was almost able to sleep between contractions. I had about 2 contractions this way and then in the middle of one contraction I felt a "pop" and I think my water broke. Suddenly everything was very unmanageable. The contractions were way too intense and everything was moving very quickly. I started to lose it a little... okay, a lot. I was crying and saying that I had made the wrong decision and I wanted an epidural. I said lots of things like, "This is ridiculous! Why are we doing this, Chris?? Natural birth is sooooo dumb." Chris, Mary and Rachel (the two nurses) just kept saying, "Okay, we hear you, now lets just get through this next contraction," and I would say, "Who is calling the anesthesiologist?? No one has left to call him. I'm telling you that I have made the decision to have the epidural," and then more, "Okay, we hear you, lets get through this next contraction." They knew what I knew: that baby was a few contractions away and I would have to get through it. 

We got out of the tub and headed back to the room at about 8 or 9 cm. I stood at the end of the bed and yelled through each contraction and in between I kept saying how dumb it is to not get the epidural and how foolish we had been. Dr. Anthony got there and checked me and said that he was ready to be pushed out!! I was sooo scared that she was wrong and that I would have to push and push. Thankfully, I only pushed through 2 contractions. But it was truly awful. 

Jonathan came out and they put him on my chest. I was way too shook up by the pain of delivering him to even look at him. When the whole universe crashes down on your brain and you think you will pass out from pain, you just aren't all that eager to look at your baby. I kept hearing them say, "Oh my gosh!! He is huge!" Sure enough, he was huge. No wonder it hurt so bad!

It's amazing how quick you can go from the worst pain of your life to so much joy. It was wonderful to hold him and nurse him and in moments our family was changed forever. He is a chubby, snuggly, wonderful little baby that I can't get enough of. It's so fun to see Noah with him. Noah will come up and say, "Hold it?" So he sits and holds his brother before pushing him away and saying, "All done." We have had lots of help with Mike and Debbie here. I'm nervous for Saturday when they leave, but once again I will have opportunity to depend on God as my strength and to be sanctified through the sleeplessness, the chaos with a toddler, the nursing, and whatever else God brings my way. I'm thankful that in this moment I feel ready to tackle it because I know that there will be many moments to come that I don't think I can do it and I will have to cry out to my Rock and my Refuge for help. 

Chatter Box

Noah may not be real big on walking yet, but the kid LOVES to talk. I have wanted to share some of the wonderful words and expressions as of late!

"Ew...ew...ew."

(While I am changing his diaper)

"Ow!"

(To almost everything, but especially when he bumps his head

"Ah-oh"

(When he drops something... when Mommy drops something...anything that goes awry really.)

"More? More? Eat? Bite? Please? Please?"

(When he notices that you have food)

"MMMMmmmm!"

(When enjoying a tasty treat)

"Eye. Ear."

(While poking his little fingers in said places)

Noah also says these words...

Baby, Juice, Doggy, Cat, Duck, Aubrey, Nana, Papa, Mama, Dada, Up, Down (but these sound like "Ah" and "Da"), This, Hi!, Bye, No no no touch, All Done, Yes yes

I feel like that is so many words for a 15 month old! He is definitely "dragging his feet" (so to speak) when it comes to walking. He will walk a little bit around the house, but he knows he can get places much quicker by crawling.

He LOVES the dog. He LOVES to climb. He is really starting to love his "Nana Blanket" that he sleeps with and snuggles with. He likes to lay his head on a pillow and pretend to snore. He likes to snuggle with our friends that come over. He LOVES LOVES LOVES his Dada (what little boy doesn't?). Lately he likes to smash his face against my face...he gave me a fat lip today.

We can't get enough of him.

My Big One Year Old!

Sloppy Joes are simmering on the stove for Gospel Community tonight. The boy is sleeping soundly. And I finally have a moment to catch up my blog!

We had a whirlwind birthday celebration for Noah this year. On Wednesday the 12th we celebrated our little boy as a family with our GC at home. It was a modest celebration to say the least. Chris got some free balloons from Smiths and I baked lemon cupcakes. We sang Happy Birthday to Noah and he went at that cupcake with some serious fervor. It was super cute for us to watch!

The next day we drove to Idaho Falls and flew into Long Beach to spend a week with family in California. Amalia and Dad picked us up and my family was so sweet to throw Noah a birthday party on the 14th. Mom got pizzas and an ice cream cake and Heather decorated with Toy Story stuff. Again, Noah had some serious fun with that cake! He got lots of special gifts from Nana and Papa, Brad, Heather and the kids, Paula, Aubrey and Carol and Ryanne. So sweet! We had to leave some of them in CA because I couldn't fit them in my bag... but we are driving home at Christmas and can get them then.

As for life with a one year old... it is fantastic! Noah is getting more and more fun and entertaining. Just yesterday he started signing "drink." He's definitely in to everything now that he can pull himself up. He loves to pull down the books, the recipes, the candles, and anything else he can get his little sticky hands on. Some new words that he says: "Baba" when I get the bottle out, "Noah!" (though I'm not sure that he knows what it means), and "Nana" when he sees her picture. He does really well with other people and in the nursery at church and I'm super thankful for that! This month he experienced his first time at the beach and he absolutely loved it. Everyday when Chris leaves for work he gives Dada kisses, high fives, and then we stand at the door and wave bye bye and blow kisses. It's probably my favorite time of day.

11 Months

This post is coming a little late, but we have been busy! I was planning our women's conference with Martha Peace and now we are heading into another busy season...hunting and firewood. I don't hunt or go out and chop down trees. Being a helper suitable, I try to do what I can so that Chris can do those things. But, I digress. Let's get to the cutest member of the family...

Noah is fast approaching his first birthday! What happened? Have a really almost changed his diapers for 365 days? Was it almost twelve months ago that I told my midwife to "please stop talking"? Unbelievable.

Currently, Noah does these death defying acts of wonder:

Holds the cell phone to his ear (why does this feel like a milestone?)...

He weighs about 19 pounds

We have a CRAWLER!

He says All Done!, Hi, Dada, Nana, Mama

He signs please, more and all done

He sits by Frazier's dog bowl and shakes his hand and says, "no, no, no, no, no..."

Noah is such a joy to us! I know that I say that every month, but he truly is. He is inquisitive, affectionate, easy going, and content to sit and play by himself. We praise God for our baby boy!

My Noah Love

This is the little face that I get to see everyday. He is such a sweet boy! I am amazed at how teachable he is right now. I'm sure that his will will get stronger one day and he won't be so easily shapeable, but I pray that he is always so willing to learn!

I love Noah's adventurous spirit! I may not always love it when he comes home with scrapes and bruises, but I do love that he is a rough and tumble boy who has no fear.

Answered Prayer

Then He said to them, "Suppose one of you has a friend, and goes to him at midnight and says to him, 'Friend, lend me three loaves; for a friend of mine has come to me from a journey, and I have nothing to set before him'; and from inside he answers and says, 'Do not bother me; the door has already been shut and my children and I are in bed ; I cannot get up and give you anything.' "I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will get up and give him as much as he needs. "So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. "For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, it will be opened. "Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? "Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he? "If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?"

Luke 11:5-13

I have had a hard time with this text in the past. Doesn't it seem weird to anyone that God wants us to be so persistent in asking Him for things that we begin to annoy Him? The Word of God even specifies that it's not because the guy was his friend that he got up and gave his bread, but because of the incessant knocking. He was persistent. "It conveys the ideas of urgency, audacity, earnestness, boldness, and relentlessness--like the persistent asking of a relentless beggar" (MacArthur). But, there it is. Plain and simple in the text. When you want something, ask for it... a lot.

I recently saw the kind hand of our loving Father who loves to give good gifts to his children. I have been wanting a DSLR camera. Since I have the most adorable child with the bluest of eyes who makes the most fantastic faces, I want a camera that will at least do the kid some justice. I looked at the Canon Rebel and thought it seemed reasonable but when I started adding it up it was going to be close to $800 for everything I would need. In light of the fact that our money is not our own but belongs to the Lord, I didn't feel like it would be a faithful way to be a steward of God's money. I started praying that God would give me a camera. Weird? Maybe. But, in light of Luke 11, I think it was appropriate! If God wants to give me a camera, He can do that. And if He doesn't want to, then I don't need it. Well, I wouldn't be writing this post if there wasn't an answer to my prayer. After months of praying and entering contests on the Pioneer Woman's blog, I get an email from Chris' aunt saying that they are going to buy a new camera and wanted to know if I would like to have their old Canon Rebel. Yes, really. What a kind Father we have who wants to give good gifts to His children (being evil as we are).

Answered prayer is a great motivator to keep praying.

10 Months is So Fun!

Noah's sitting on the ground in a mess of Cheerios, toys and dog hair chatting and clapping away. I just had to rescue him from the clutches of the evil book shelf. His transmission only slips into reverse and not drive so he tends to back himself into some precarious places these days. He is just too entertaining!

Every stage of life has been fun and every new stage I think, "This is my favorite!" He is suddenly doing so many things and it's so exciting to watch him experience life.

A few highlights...

Noah can sign "more," "please," and "all done."

He scoots backwards

He brushes his hair and knows that a hat goes on his head.

He weighs 16 pounds... just a string bean.

He went swimming at the rec center for the first time and had a blast.

Noah loves kids, puppies and snacks.