Buczinski's in Jackson Hole

Chatter Box

2012-01-21T13:17:00.000-08:00

Noah may not be real big on walking yet, but the kid LOVES to talk. I have wanted to share some of the wonderful words and expressions as of late!

"Ew...ew...ew."

(While I am changing his diaper)

"Ow!"

(To almost everything, but especially when he bumps his head

"Ah-oh"

(When he drops something... when Mommy drops something...anything that goes awry really.)

"More? More? Eat? Bite? Please? Please?"

(When he notices that you have food)

"MMMMmmmm!"

(When enjoying a tasty treat)

"Eye. Ear."

(While poking his little fingers in said places)

Noah also says these words...

Baby, Juice, Doggy, Cat, Duck, Aubrey, Nana, Papa, Mama, Dada, Up, Down (but these sound like "Ah" and "Da"), This, Hi!, Bye, No no no touch, All Done, Yes yes

I feel like that is so many words for a 15 month old! He is definitely "dragging his feet" (so to speak) when it comes to walking. He will walk a little bit around the house, but he knows he can get places much quicker by crawling.

He LOVES the dog. He LOVES to climb. He is really starting to love his "Nana Blanket" that he sleeps with and snuggles with. He likes to lay his head on a pillow and pretend to snore. He likes to snuggle with our friends that come over. He LOVES LOVES LOVES his Dada (what little boy doesn't?). Lately he likes to smash his face against my face...he gave me a fat lip today.

We can't get enough of him.

My Big One Year Old!

2011-10-25T15:24:00.001-07:00

Sloppy Joes are simmering on the stove for Gospel Community tonight. The boy is sleeping soundly. And I finally have a moment to catch up my blog!

We had a whirlwind birthday celebration for Noah this year. On Wednesday the 12th we celebrated our little boy as a family with our GC at home. It was a modest celebration to say the least. Chris got some free balloons from Smiths and I baked lemon cupcakes. We sang Happy Birthday to Noah and he went at that cupcake with some serious fervor. It was super cute for us to watch!

The next day we drove to Idaho Falls and flew into Long Beach to spend a week with family in California. Amalia and Dad picked us up and my family was so sweet to throw Noah a birthday party on the 14th. Mom got pizzas and an ice cream cake and Heather decorated with Toy Story stuff. Again, Noah had some serious fun with that cake! He got lots of special gifts from Nana and Papa, Brad, Heather and the kids, Paula, Aubrey and Carol and Ryanne. So sweet! We had to leave some of them in CA because I couldn't fit them in my bag... but we are driving home at Christmas and can get them then.

As for life with a one year old... it is fantastic! Noah is getting more and more fun and entertaining. Just yesterday he started signing "drink." He's definitely in to everything now that he can pull himself up. He loves to pull down the books, the recipes, the candles, and anything else he can get his little sticky hands on. Some new words that he says: "Baba" when I get the bottle out, "Noah!" (though I'm not sure that he knows what it means), and "Nana" when he sees her picture. He does really well with other people and in the nursery at church and I'm super thankful for that! This month he experienced his first time at the beach and he absolutely loved it. Everyday when Chris leaves for work he gives Dada kisses, high fives, and then we stand at the door and wave bye bye and blow kisses. It's probably my favorite time of day.

11 Months

2011-09-22T18:20:00.000-07:00

This post is coming a little late, but we have been busy! I was planning our women's conference with Martha Peace and now we are heading into another busy season...hunting and firewood. I don't hunt or go out and chop down trees. Being a helper suitable, I try to do what I can so that Chris can do those things. But, I digress. Let's get to the cutest member of the family...

Noah is fast approaching his first birthday! What happened? Have a really almost changed his diapers for 365 days? Was it almost twelve months ago that I told my midwife to "please stop talking"? Unbelievable.

Currently, Noah does these death defying acts of wonder:

Holds the cell phone to his ear (why does this feel like a milestone?)...

He weighs about 19 pounds

We have a CRAWLER!

He says All Done!, Hi, Dada, Nana, Mama

He signs please, more and all done

He sits by Frazier's dog bowl and shakes his hand and says, "no, no, no, no, no..."

Noah is such a joy to us! I know that I say that every month, but he truly is. He is inquisitive, affectionate, easy going, and content to sit and play by himself. We praise God for our baby boy!

My Noah Love

2011-09-07T07:44:00.000-07:00

This is the little face that I get to see everyday. He is such a sweet boy! I am amazed at how teachable he is right now. I'm sure that his will will get stronger one day and he won't be so easily shapeable, but I pray that he is always so willing to learn!

I love Noah's adventurous spirit! I may not always love it when he comes home with scrapes and bruises, but I do love that he is a rough and tumble boy who has no fear.

Answered Prayer

2011-08-15T13:30:00.000-07:00

Then He said to them, "Suppose one of you has a friend, and goes to him at midnight and says to him, 'Friend, lend me three loaves; for a friend of mine has come to me from a journey, and I have nothing to set before him'; and from inside he answers and says, 'Do not bother me; the door has already been shut and my children and I are in bed ; I cannot get up and give you anything.' "I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will get up and give him as much as he needs. "So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. "For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, it will be opened. "Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? "Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he? "If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?"

Luke 11:5-13

I have had a hard time with this text in the past. Doesn't it seem weird to anyone that God wants us to be so persistent in asking Him for things that we begin to annoy Him? The Word of God even specifies that it's not because the guy was his friend that he got up and gave his bread, but because of the incessant knocking. He was persistent. "It conveys the ideas of urgency, audacity, earnestness, boldness, and relentlessness--like the persistent asking of a relentless beggar" (MacArthur). But, there it is. Plain and simple in the text. When you want something, ask for it... a lot.

I recently saw the kind hand of our loving Father who loves to give good gifts to his children. I have been wanting a DSLR camera. Since I have the most adorable child with the bluest of eyes who makes the most fantastic faces, I want a camera that will at least do the kid some justice. I looked at the Canon Rebel and thought it seemed reasonable but when I started adding it up it was going to be close to $800 for everything I would need. In light of the fact that our money is not our own but belongs to the Lord, I didn't feel like it would be a faithful way to be a steward of God's money. I started praying that God would give me a camera. Weird? Maybe. But, in light of Luke 11, I think it was appropriate! If God wants to give me a camera, He can do that. And if He doesn't want to, then I don't need it. Well, I wouldn't be writing this post if there wasn't an answer to my prayer. After months of praying and entering contests on the Pioneer Woman's blog, I get an email from Chris' aunt saying that they are going to buy a new camera and wanted to know if I would like to have their old Canon Rebel. Yes, really. What a kind Father we have who wants to give good gifts to His children (being evil as we are).

Answered prayer is a great motivator to keep praying.

10 Months is So Fun!

2011-08-10T10:46:00.000-07:00

Noah's sitting on the ground in a mess of Cheerios, toys and dog hair chatting and clapping away. I just had to rescue him from the clutches of the evil book shelf. His transmission only slips into reverse and not drive so he tends to back himself into some precarious places these days. He is just too entertaining!

Every stage of life has been fun and every new stage I think, "This is my favorite!" He is suddenly doing so many things and it's so exciting to watch him experience life.

A few highlights...

Noah can sign "more," "please," and "all done."

He scoots backwards

He brushes his hair and knows that a hat goes on his head.

He weighs 16 pounds... just a string bean.

He went swimming at the rec center for the first time and had a blast.

Noah loves kids, puppies and snacks.

My Favorite Birthday!

2011-07-06T06:39:00.001-07:00

Chris banned me from blogging intimate details of our life, especially the ones that involved him. As much as I want to tell the world all the wonderful little things Chris says and does, in honor of his birthday I won't do that. But I will say a few things...

A few weeks ago I asked him what his favorite breakfast would be and he said the following:

One egg, over easy. One piece of wonder bread toasted, buttered, and cut diagonally (so I can more efficiently dip it in the toast), two pieces of bacon, one sausage patty, three crepes. One crepe with butter and maple and syrup and the other two with some kind of delicious fruits and whipped cream.

He couldn't finish it all this morning.

Chris occasionally accidentally undresses in inappropriate places.

I will never understand his deep love of a good song, a profound thought, and a rare magic card.

If he could have dinner with any living person it would probably be John MacArthur and Maynard James Keenan at the same time.

They would eat ribeye and garlic mashed potatoes and drink Moose Drool.

The worst thing you could do on his birthday is sing to him or make a big deal in any way. He hates awkwardness.

There are so many things about Chris that I am thankful for! I never could have imagined what a joy it would be to be married to my very best friend. I will stop myself before I start gushing about his handsome face and nice legs (see photo above). Or before I say that he's my very best friend and I look up to him in so many ways. Okay, I'm done. Oh, and Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my Mom!!

2011-06-24T08:45:00.001-07:00

Mom! I have so been looking forward to your birthday post. I just love you so much and I'm so thankful for you. It has been so beautiful to see how God has brought you through trials in the last couple years and you have learned to love Him and depend on Him like you never have before. I love that we have the relationship we do... open, honest, fun and Christ-centered.

So in honor of your fifty... er...fourty...something... birthday, I'm going old school and making a Barbara acronym!

B: Well, B has to be for Beautiful!

What I love about your beauty is not only do you have a fantastic smile and you still haven't seemed to lose your youth, but more importantly than that, you have biblical beauty. The Bible says that charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised. I have seen you grow more and more in your fear of the Lord. You have grown to take His instruction seriously and hold your own plans with an open hand. You have stood for what is true and you have humbled yourself in several situations to make more of Jesus. That is so beautiful! It's a beauty that the world won't see, but that God delights in.

A: Adventurous

You are not like other moms.. and you are certainly not like other Grandmas! You do crazy stuff. You take the kids hiking up a mountain looking for a geo-cache. You ride four-wheelers. You get dirty. You do wild stuff with flour and sugar in the kitchen. We had an adventurous childhood because of that fun and outgoing spirit in you, and I cannot wait for Noah to get older and enjoy the adventures that I know Nana and Papa will bring him on!

R: Ready to clean at all times

I think it's hilarious that you will say, "The house is a disaster!" and any other person would look at your house and think, "This place is spic and span." You just love to clean. I don't think I know of anyone that is more determined to have a tidy home than you... and Brad and I were just discussing how we have taken after you in this. What I appreciate too is that you are always up for cleaning my house when you come over!

B: Big heart

You love to give. You love to hear a touching story. You love your grandkids. You love your family. You just love.

A: Asking for trouble

Okay, maybe not asking for it, per se, but you definitely always seem to get in to it. I love telling my friends your stories. You would punch someone in the face if they came at you. I think you probably have done that actually. You chased a drunk driver down the freeway going 100 MPH. You have punched multiple dogs in the face, including a police dog. You got your skirt pulled down when you tried to fight with some crazy guy who was beating up his mom. You got sprayed with poop from the trailer on a camping trip. If someone is going to fall down, fall in, crash, tip over, get caught, or pee their pants, it's going to be you. And you are going to do it all laughing.

R: Recalls God's grace

You give credit where credit is due. God is the one at work in you to will and to act according to His good purpose (Phil 2:13) . In all these things, you give praise to God who is bringing you from glory to glory (1 Cor 3:18). It has been encouraging to see you encounter various trials and in your weakness, you are able to see that even the hard things come from the God who is working to make you more like His Son.

A: Attractive

You attract people to yourself. It's so funny how many people have wanted to be part of our family. You make people feel comfortable. You are outgoing and that serves people. People want to be around you. Even our neighbors who we have had a hard time growing a friendship with, seem to come around when you and dad are here. This a great quality to have.

So, cheers to you Mom! I'm thankful for the person that you are. You are dynamic. You are a huge blessing to Chris, Noah and me. We have been the recipient of much of your generosity and we are super thankful for that. It's fun to celebrate the fun and wonderful things that we love about you on your birthday!

8 Months

2011-06-19T10:12:00.001-07:00

Well, it is definitely time for a new post! Two months have flown by since I last updated on little Noah Andrew. Every new stage feels like my favorite, but this one is my favorite again. Some events in the life of Noah...

Noah says "Dada"... he has said "Mama" a few times...and I think he is trying to say "hat" but it comes out "at."

Baby boy sleeps like a champ! He usually doesn't even cry when I put him down for naps (except for right this minute of course).

He LOVES puppies and babies... but who doesn't really?

He is eating oatmeal, blueberries, bananas, nectarines, chicken, peaches, cottage cheese, yogurt and starting to pick up finger foods.

He Claps!!

Noah is just shy of 16 pounds.

He really loves his Daddy. He always screams and squeals when Chris gets home. Sometimes I put the phone up to his ear and he stops... stares... then starts smiling when Daddy talks.

I think there are lots more things I could update on, but time is limited! Life is good in the Buczinski house these days. Noah is a pretty easy baby who brings us lots of joy. We can really see his personality developing... pretty easy going, but a little bit of a wild streak.

Mike's Birthday!

2011-06-02T11:01:00.001-07:00

If Chris had a horrible family that hated me, I would probably still be happy to marry him. But, praise the Lord, I have been blessed with pretty incredible in-laws... Chris' dad, Mike, is one in particular. Mike is a great example of Christ-like humility and service. He has a hunger for the truth and a desire to be in the Word of God that is inspiring and convicting. Mike always blesses us when he comes to visit... cleaning my car, fixing stuff around the house and buying us steak dinners are just a few examples.

Two years ago for Christmas we did a family gift exchange where we drew a name and a letter and we had to get a gift for that person, starting with that letter for under $10. I drew Mike and the letter "x" and I was clever enough to get him an "Xtra Large" t-shirt. Well, Mike drew my name and the letter "N" and he made me the "Newbold Cottonwood." Mike got copper wire from the phone company that has been in use in KS for several decades and a spent countless hours fashioning a cottonwood tree out of the wire that looks like the one in my parent's front yard. He told me to think of the hundreds of conversations that have gone through that wire. I get choked up just thinking about it! What a thoughtful father in-law the Lord has blessed me with.

So, Happy Birthday Mike! I hope it's a happy one!

Happy Birthday Heather!

2011-05-19T06:53:00.000-07:00

Heather is my brother's wife. She came into the family in 2002 (I think) before I became a believer. It was fun to have a new sister, but I was self-consumed at the time and wasn't thinking much about it. When I unexpectedly got pregnant with Aubrey, Heather was a huge support. She faithfully came to my birthing classes with me and stood by me during labor. She was there when Aubs was born and a deeper friendship was made at that time.

After God saved me in 2003 our relationship took a turn as now we weren't just sisters by law, but we were both a part of the family of God and sisters in Christ. Heather is a dear friend. She was with me when I moved in to my college dorm at Masters, she gave me cooking lessons in her apartment in Northridge, and she stood with me when I married Chris.

Some things I love about Heather...

She has a big laugh.

She is a fantastic listener.

She heartily encouraged me to date Chris.

She has beautiful, fun, funny children that I adore.

Heather is real about her relationship with Jesus.

She has loved and served my brother very well. She is a steadfast and enduring wife.

Heather, I love you so much! I wish I could be with you as you celebrate your birthday this year. It's hard to be so far away from you and your kids, but God's purposes are very good in it. Lord willing, we will live close one day soon! I hope you enjoy your birthday a ton.

8 Years Ago

2011-05-07T07:19:00.001-07:00

I know Mother's Day is silly. I know it's a Hallmark holiday. I know it's one day to celebrate something that we ought to thank God for daily. Nonetheless, after my daughter was born in February 2003 that first Mother's Day was tough.

I felt like a mom in some ways, but in other ways I wasn't a mom at all. Did birthing a child qualify me to celebrate Mother's Day? Or did I have to wake up in the night and rock a baby to sleep to qualify? Every Mother's Day has been a little weird and a little sad for me. I kind of want to get flowers and a card and a big Thank You!

Chris reminded me of something really important last night. Every day, Mother's Day or not, is an opportunity to be thankful to God and to praise Him. If I am being self-focused on a random Tuesday or on my first "Kind of Mother's Day," then I'm not praising Him and there is no joy there.

This year I celebrate my FIRST and my EIGTH Mother's Day! And for that I'm so super thankful. I'm thankful to God that everyday for the past 7 months I get to hold Noah, get up with him in the night, rock him to sleep and nurse him. I'm thankful for a baby boy that brings me so much joy and constantly causes me to run to God for grace.

I'm also thankful that for the past 8 years I have gotten to call Aubrey my daughter. I'm thankful for her friendship and that God is growing her into such a beautiful and kind girl. I don't get to hold her and hug her and laugh with her often, but I do get to pray for her and thank Jesus that she is in my life.

God's plan is so very good! His way is perfect and He is wise in how handles each of our lives. After I had Aubrey the Lord opened my eyes and heart to Jesus and granted me repentance. I am adopted into His eternal family now. He blessed me with a relationship with my sweet daughter. He blessed me with my husband and now my precious son. They are all stewardships given to me for his glory and not my own. On my first/eighth Mother's Day I will praise God for His work in my life.

Noah

2011-05-05T19:25:00.000-07:00

I love this boy.

My Big Boy

2011-04-14T08:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we went to lunch with Auntie Melissa and you sat in a high chair at the Merry Piglets AND you held a sippy cup.

I lay you in your crib and you grab your blankie and just babble yourself to sleep like some kid I've never met before.

You see Daddy and get so excited that you can't even finish eating.

I've always heard that before you know it your baby is all grown up and I'm starting to really understand that now. I know he's not all grown up yet, but I can't believe how fast the last 6 months has flown by!

Six Months Old

2011-04-07T14:52:00.000-07:00

My handsome Noah is already SIX MONTHS old! I get a lump in my throat when I think about what a wonderful family God has given me. Three years ago I would never have imagined the life that God had planned for Chris and I. Noah is such a huge blessing to us.

Here are some random updates...

I started picking up shifts waiting tables at Sidewinders again and it is SOOO fun for Daddy and Noah to have time together!

Noah has eaten sweet potatoes, butternut squash, peaches, green beans, bananas and a little bit of avocado. I think he likes the sweet potatoes and squash the best.

Last Sunday he stayed in the nursery the WHOLE time and only cried for the last 10 minutes!

He is still sleeping a straight 12 hours every night. He is down to two naps a day now.

He's a string bean... tall and skinny!

He is laughing lots and lots these days. He loves to fly around the house with Dad. He loves kisses all over his face. He likes when Mom sings silly songs.

Once again, we are just so thankful and amazed at this gift from God! Noah is a joy. The Lord has used him so much to grow me as a person. I have learned to be more flexible, more patient, and more selfless...lessons that I'm sure will continue!

Two Birthdays!

2011-04-03T08:29:00.000-07:00

My nephew William and my niece Amalia have birthdays two days apart. Friday Liam turned TWO and today Ami turns FIVE! I love these kids SO much. They are completely adorable and make my heart melt every time I get to see them.

I have a couple really special memories of Amalia. Christmas 2007, my future husband came up and spent Christmas with my family even though I didn't know him super well and he had never met my family. He slept in the living room on a blow up bed. My brother's family was living with my parents at the time while their house was being built next door and early in the morning Amalia started exploring Chris and jumping all over him. Seeing as I didn't know him super well, it could have been awkward--him in his underwear, waking up to the family of the girl he likes all sitting around staring at him--but he handled it with such grace. I think all the women in my family were immediately drawn to him because of how great he was with my niece.

Another funny memory of Amalia is when we went on family vacation to Oregon this past summer. Again, we crawled up in bed with Chris while he was sleeping. His shoulder was propped up on the pillow instead of his head and when Amalia pulled the covers down slowly to wake him up and scare him, she saw his shoulder and said, "What kind of head is this?"

Seeing as Liam doesn't talk much and he was born while Chris and I were already living in WY, I haven't had nearly as many special moments with him. But I can tell you a few things... William is ALL boy. He wants to jump, run, explore, be a cowboy and be loud. He loves his family very much. When my brother's family came out to visit and Liam was put in the nursery at our church one of my friends said, "Becky, all I can think when I look at him is that you might have a child this cute." It's true, we have great genes.

Thankful

2011-03-25T11:01:00.000-07:00

Some of you might know that Chris' time at the school district here in Jackson has been pretty rough. The schedule was super demanding and often took away from ministry. His boss was just down right mean to him. He was really flexible and humble with all of it, but it was hard.

Today the Lord provided a new job for Chris!! I'm soooo thankful. He is going to be working at 3 Creek Golf Club...one of the best golf courses in the country. Tiger Woods has home there. He will be doing facility maintenance. The schedule is Monday-Friday either 7-3pm or 8-4pm... it's up to him. He may have to work some Saturdays during tournaments, but he won't have to work Sundays ever. The boss seems really nice. The work will be a lot more fun than what he was doing before. I'm just so so so excited for him. It's seasonal with the potential to be part time from November until next April. He would have to get another part time job. It's a little less income than he made at the school and they don't provide benefits...but we are sure that God will provide.

So excited!

And Suddenly He's 5 Months Old!

2011-03-12T19:26:00.000-08:00

I think I just did my 4 month post the other day, but sure enough, he is five months old! Time really does fly. He doesn't do many new things... but he does do many wonderful things that I love so much! Some memories from this month...

Mommy and Daddy sneaking in to your room at night to watch you sleep. You sleep on your side now and it's ADORABLE.

When dad gets home late from work he says he always hears you chatting to yourself in your crib.

We have hard a very difficult week, but every time you smile at us it is hard to stay upset.

You sleep 12 straight hours now with no eating! Mommy is a new woman.

You are not a fan of the nursery at church.

Our dear friend Melissa babysat you and you had lots of fun with her.

You and Frazier are starting to take an interest in each other.

Winter Ready!

Hanging out on his tummy
Oh hi, bald spot
Sort of obsessed with these rosy cheeks
Right before he flipped over!

Happy Birthday Bradley!

2011-03-07T13:47:00.000-08:00

Today my brother turns THIRTY! I'm tempted to say I can't believe that he's 30, but that's not entirely true. He has had a productive 30 years. He has been married for almost a decade and has three amazing kids (one who I have never met, but I hear she's amazing). He even has a house! God has been so kind to Bradley in his 30 years of life. I'm very thankful to have him as my brother! Some things that I love about having him for my brother....

Brad and I have inside jokes that no one else would appreciate... "I'm covered in oil!"

He loves to talk theology with my husband.

He is a fun dad.

He likes good music...but is open to even not so good music if it's lovely to him.

He is a true Goonies connoisseur and will give dirty looks when someone says the obvious quote, "Hey you guys!"

He used to be a rockstar.

He married a really wonderful woman that I love a lot.

He loves Jesus.

4 Months

2011-02-25T09:11:00.000-08:00

I was playing Monopoly Deal with Chris on Tuesday night and just started laughing because of the funny things that Noah did that day. Having a four month old is such a sweet blessing! We do lots of smiling, giggling, and dancing around. And now for the monthly NOAH FACT SHEET:

Noah LOVES his mommy.

He is soooo close to rolling over, but can't quite get there yet.

He is a string bean... 27 inches long and 13 pounds at his last appointment.

He wore two SIX MONTH outfits this week! As sad as i was to pack away all his 3 month clothes, it is super fun to put him in new things.

The main disappointment of not having a girl was not being able to dress her up, but I have way more fun dressing up a boy than I would have anticipated!

He is doing lots of exploring with his hands. Everything is a new experience.

Noah brings his dad and I so much joy! Anyone who is on the fence about whether or not they should have kids right now should just go ahead and do it. It's too much fun to pass up. I know that we are soon entering a new phase of not just providing food and sleep and clothing for this little one, but he will need shepherding as well. I'm praying that God will give us lots of grace to shepherd this little heart well. I find myself second guessing myself and confused as to what he needs almost daily, but this causes me to run to Jesus and ask for his grace, comfort and patience.

And now what you really came here to see...

Noah is SO tall!

Bath time with Grandma

Noah's favorite girl friend... Charlotte

tiny tiny teeth...

2011-02-04T12:24:00.000-08:00

Look what I got...

TEETH!!!

I love several things about this picture...

...Noah's lip that looks just like Chris' lip when he was little

...his rosy cheeks

...holding him in my amazing Ergo Carrier

...walking on a sunny day in the snow with his oldest friends, Mommy and Tiffany

....he is dressed like a little bear {thanks Auntie Ryanne!!}

My Local Church

2011-01-28T12:16:00.000-08:00

There's a little place in downtown Wilson, Wy at the end of Main Street where the Buczinskis like to go on Sunday nights to hear the WORD OF GOD taught faithfully and to have dinner with our spiritual family.

I'm thankful to have a community of believers to fellowship with.

I'm thankful that someone is always offering to cook, clean or babysit.

I'm thankful that I have sisters in Christ at Cornerstone Church who encourage me in the Word and help me to hate sin and love JESUS.

I'm thankful for my pastor and his family who have sacrificed a lot to serve this body instead of pursuing the "American Dream".

I'm thankful for discipleship.

Chris and I have been in Jackson almost 3 years and our time at Cornerstone church has been immeasurably profitable. Our church home is growing in numbers and also in maturity. People are eager to serve and love. People are being affected by the truth found in God's Word that is being taught faithfully. We may not be in Jackson for many more years to come, but we are so thankful for this time with our church family!

Happy Birthday to my Dad!

2011-01-20T12:25:00.001-08:00

Can you believe my dad is only 51?? In 51 years Dad has accomplished quite a lot! "Well, what has he ever done?" you ask? Take a peak...

My Dad has FOUR grandkids... one on the way... and two honorary. That makes seven kiddos who lovingly call him Papa and yearn for his attention.

He has been married to his "Lovely Bride" {as he affectionately calls her} for 31 years. He is a better husband now than he has ever been. Thank you Jesus!

He has cleaned the mean streets of Los Angeles of countless criminals.

He has saved lives.

His own life has been saved by Jesus for several decades now.

He has ran from the eastern to the western Sierra Nevadas in one morning approximately eight times now.

He lovingly joined me in the production of The Nutcracker and Peter Pan. And he danced. And when he got fired from the latter play, he was willing to come on as Tinker Bell. Not joking here.

Wow, I am so thankful for my Dad. I have too many good memories of him. My husband claims he spoiled me growing up, but I think it was just selfless love he demonstrated. One time my dad told me that if something happened to Mom, he would just move in with me because we get along so well. He is welcome anytime.

Thank you for being such a fantastic Dad. I love you. Happy Birthday!!

3 Months!

2011-01-20T09:01:00.000-08:00

Well, I have a three month old. He is just wonderful! Here is a little Noah Fact Sheet for your reading enjoyment:

Weighing in around 12 lbs, he wears all 3-6 month clothes now... though they are a tad big on him.

He LOVES to smile at Mommy and Daddy and he's very cuddly.

He spends a lot of time just kicking it on his back or in his Bumbo chair while mom cooks and cleans.

He is a champion sleeper! The last three nights he went to bed at 7:30pm... I wake him up to 10:30 to eat...He eats at 4:30am and then sleeps until 8:30 am! This is very exciting for mom.

He has TWO TEETH popping through on his bottom gums.

He has gotten into a giggle fit a couple times and now it's all Mom and Dad try to get him to do.

He is extremely easy going...fine to sit by himself and look at stuff, goes to anyone, usually goes right to sleep when I lay him down.

He wears cloth diapers exclusively now... and Mom loves them!! They are so cute and fuzzy. They are definitely way easier than people make them out to be.

He came out pretty cool, but he is destined to be a nerd because Chris and I are such big dorks. Sorry kid...

Picture Time!

I think Noah's crib looks so cuddly, soft, colorful, warm and friendly... so here is a short series I like to call: Noah's Fanciful Crib Time

Swaddled...but have to have those hands available for sucking

Spending time with Chuma and The Yeti

A very funny hat from Noah's Great Aunt Marsha!

We like to sneak in and snap photos of him sleeping...

{Oh, and the beautiful quilt is from Noah's Nana...my mom. She makes one for all the grandkids. It's just soooo cute and cuddly that I have to have him sleep on it. I know that I would want to if I was him.}

Chris and I are so very thankful to the Lord that He has given us Noah to look after, love and train up in the fear and admiration of Him. We love our son SOOO much. He brings us joy and smiles every single day. This season is so much fun. He is learning so many new things and smiling a lot. I am trying to prepare my heart for when the training and discipline come in because I know that it's going to be so hard to be faithful in that. I want to do what is very best for Noah and I want to be an example of humility and diligence to him. I hope and pray that I am a mother who makes Christ the center of our family. I often hold him and tear up and just pray that God will save him and use him for wonderful things for His good purposes.

The Incarnation

2010-12-22T17:17:00.001-08:00

I'm not a noted theologian and I'm not terribly eloquent, but I wanted to share a few thoughts I have had this Christmas season. I have learned a few things about babies in the last two months. They are so helpless. They can't even hold up their heads. They can't see very well. They only way they can communicate is through crying and making noises. They are very humble creatures. They trust us SO much. Noah is never afraid that I'm going to drop him or not feed him or stop taking care of him. In light of this, I have been so overwhelmed with the incarnation this year. In our small group at church we have been reading A. W. Tozer's The Attributes of God. God is eternal, omnipresent, immutable, just, full of grace, wrath, and love. This very God that I worship put on flesh and became a tiny helpless baby for my sake. Unbelievable. He had to cry to get what he needed. He had to be held by two sinners to get where he needed to go. He had to learn how to talk. He stepped out of heaven where everyone was always telling him, "You are right. You are holy. You are perfect." and step into this wicked world where everyone told him, "You blaspheme. You are strange. You are wrong."

I've also been contemplating what it would have been like to be his mother. Knowing she would have a holy, perfect child, was she disappointed at his humanity? Did she understand the weight of the moment as she held him in his hands for the first time? Because she was so close and so intimately related to Him, did she ever doubt that he was actually the Messiah? I am so overwhelmed that Jesus was born in a manger. How did Mary handle that? Was she scared?

I love Noah so much. I can't stop kissing his cheeks. When he smiles at me I have joy like I've never had before. I think often about what he will be like when he gets older. I worry about him. I hope the best for him. I get nervous when he seems out of sorts and I make everyone put on hand sanitizer before they can hold him. I'm sure that Mary loved Jesus like this. I'm sure she gazed in his face while he nursed. I'm sure she laughed as he learned to walk and was proud when he learned from his dad how to build things for the home. It makes me cry to think that she had to see him suffer on the cross. Of everyone in Jesus' life on earth she was probably the most intimately acquainted with him and I would bet that she loved him in a way that no one else loved him. Then she had to watch him suffer so horrifically. If I had to watch Noah suffer in that way I think I would be vomiting. I would throw up and I would weep and I would try to get him out of the hands of those horrible people. She was called to something so difficult, and yet so blessed. She spent such precious time with the Savior of the world.

This year I am very thankful that Jesus willingly laid aside his power and clothed himself in humanity. I'm so thankful that He humbled himself and became obedient to death, even death on a cross. The incarnation is such a breath-taking mystery.

An Ode to Christopher

2010-12-22T16:49:00.000-08:00

I was just looking at a friend's blog and their Christmas tree was so beautifully decorated, like you would find in a magazine. For a second I was tempted to be jealous and to think that our tree was so lame compared to theirs. Then I realized that I'm so happy that our tree has colored lights, homemade ornaments, and a few Disney characters hanging up there. It might not be magazine worthy, but I think it represents us well. For some reason comparing our shabby tree to my friend's fancy tree made me really thankful for my husband.

I love that Chris doesn't care at all about having a house that looks like it could belong in a magazine, but he does care that our house is comfortable and that people feel like they can kick up their feet here.

I love that he has a really good, manly beard.

I love that he likes baseball. It's so all-American of him. And I love that he knows everything about baseball. It is always so attractive to me when we start to talk baseball history.

I like that Chris embraces his nerdiness so well... Magic cards, video games, etc.

There is a lot more that I love about Chris, but I have been instructed by him in the past that I'm not allowed to blog about intimate details of our life...especially his intimate details. I'm just so thankful that I have a husband who appreciates colored Christmas lights and doesn't compare our family to other families that are more beautiful or have fancier things.

The Lone Wolf

2010-12-19T06:54:00.000-08:00

I decided I need to start documenting the things Chris says in his sleep. He always speaks crystal clear and even though I'm wide awake, I am often confused as to whether he is asleep or not. The other night we had this sleepy conversation:
C: Did you hear the lone wolf?
B: What?
C: It was either a lone wolf or a coyote.
B: What are you talking about? They were in our yard?
C: Yeah. There was a lone wolf in the yard.
B: Why does it have to be a lone wolf? Why can't it just be a wolf?
C: Because wolves run in packs and he was all by himself.
B: (Laughing) You are so weird.
C: What? Am I not making any sense? I'm serious.

Snow Shoeing

2010-12-19T06:39:00.000-08:00

Chris finished his classes on Friday and he got all A's!!! I'm so proud of him. He worked so diligently this semester and really took school seriously for the first time in his life. Most Saturdays this fall he was busy doing homework and yesterday he had no homework to do. I was so excited! We decided to go snow shoeing near our house. Chris carried Noah in the ErgoCarrier and off we went. Frazier had a blast and since he was post-holeing up to his neck the whole time, he slept the rest of the afternoon.
Noah was starting to get a little mad
The view of Game Creek, the area where we live
Hiking along
Check out Frazier's ears. He was VERY excited!

Happy Birthday Bethany!

2010-12-14T06:44:00.000-08:00

Today is Bethany's birthday and I am so thankful for my sweet sister in law! When Chris and I got married I could not have imagined what a fantastic new family I would be a part of. I remember the first time I met her in the Wichita airport and she was beaming to see her brother and his fiancee. She immediately made me feel at home and made me feel like her sister. We don't get to spend that much time together, but we have some very fun memories regardless. One of our favorite days was when she visited Jackson and we made potato soup and laid on the blow up bed most of the day watching movies.

I'm so thankful that Bethany loves Jesus. There have been plenty of times when she has encouraged me to love the Lord more through our conversations on the phone. She is transparent about her struggles and humble when it comes to being instructed by the Word of God. She has such a servants heart.

I can't wait for her to come out and spend Christmas with us next week!

Two Months!

2010-12-11T08:14:00.000-08:00

Father and Son have a very special bond
Our first family photo at the Christmas concert
This is what Noah wears on our walks
My Big Boy! We think he is starting look more like the Newbold side of the family
Baby Noah is two months old! We had our two month wellness check yesterday and he weighs 10 lbs 11 ounces and is 23 inches long. He's in the 50th percentile for length and the 25th percentile for weight. Growing like a weed that little one!

Noah has had lots of firsts this last month! He celebrated his first Thanksgiving and was very thankful for Grandma, Grandpa, Auntie Bethany and his great Grandparents. He went to his first birthday party for Abby Gava's 6th birthday at the Rec Center. He had his first few shots :( That was sad. He used his cloth diapers for the first time. He stayed in the nursery at church with Emily and Cheyenne and did great! I was very hesitant to put him in there, but since there was only one other child I felt okay about it. He went to his first two Stroller Strides classes and slept through both of them. He went to his first concert at the Center for the Arts. It was Christmas music performed by the Jackson Hole Orchestra and the Jackson Hole Chamber Choir. He spent his first night without Mommy and did an awesome job taking bottles from Dad. Chris took such sweet care of his little boy and loved his time alone with Noah.

We are so thankful for our little guy! He is such a joy. He loves to smile and coo at us... especially in the morning. We have gotten into a pretty consistent schedule starting at 6 am. He sleeps for a 4-6 hour stretch every night and I'm super thankful for that! I often pray that it would be 6 and not 4 hours, but it doesn't always work out that way. It's really hard for me when he wakes up at 4:30 am and is ready for the day, but that doesn't happen as often now that we are on a more consistent schedule. He always takes his first nap in his swing and sleeps for like 2 hours. I put him in there so he doesn't cry and wake up daddy. We love to go on walks using our ErgoCarrier. He usually sleeps the whole time.

Parenting continues to teach us many lessons on humility and selflessness. I constantly have to search my heart and decide if I am simply doing the easy thing or the thing that will benefit Noah and our family in the long run. I love to do the easy thing! But the truth is, I want to do what serves Noah most and what brings glory to our great God. It often takes sacrifice on our part to do this. This is great practice for when we need to begin disciplining our little boy and there will be lots of temptation to do the easy thing instead of the thing that best serves him in the long run. I am learning that my time in the Word will probably never look the same as it did before children. It's a little more sporadic and it takes a lot more discipline to sit to down and read. I try to read out loud in the mornings while nursing Noah. This has been a great time with him! I hope it gets me in the habit of reading God's Word to him and making most of the time that I have during the day.

I have been struck by what an amazing gift it is to be a stay at home wife and mom. When I first brought Noah home I was very uncertain about the whole thing. I loved him, but I was so overwhelmed and felt like what I was doing was not profitable. I'm so thankful that God has changed my heart! Chris is really giving me the most precious gift by letting me stay at home and parent Noah while he works to support us. I love being home with him. I love cooking for our family and trying out new recipes. I love that we get to go for walks almost every day. I love that I'm not missing anything. I love that I get to have people over from our church and minister to them. This week I am starting to counsel and disciple people again and I'm so thankful that I have the time to do that!

I can't wait to see what the next month holds!

One Month!

2010-11-15T11:16:00.000-08:00

Noah is one month old now! We are so very thankful for him. He really is a very, very good baby. I have heard about fussy, inconsolable babies, but he is not one of them. The only time he cries is when we lay him down to sleep. This is terribly horribly awfully hard for me because I know that all I have to do to make him stop is pick him up. But, he is a fickle sleeper. He sleeps wonderfully at night, but daytime naps are hard. He just doesn't like to fall asleep. I know that if I let him stay up and have his way, he will be really difficult by late afternoon, so I almost always have to lay him down and let him cry. Sad. But it's getting MUCH MUCH better. He is starting to be better about soothing himself to sleep so he usually just fusses for a bit and then falls asleep. He is down to one nighttime feeding and I am thrilled about this! Usually he goes down anytime between 8 and 10 pm and then he wakes up between 1 and 3 am. Then he goes right back to sleep and gets up around 6 or 7 am. Such a huge blessing! He is also much more efficient at nursing so I'm usually only up feeding him for less than 30 minutes.

At his last appointment he was 21.5 inches long and weighed 8 pounds 7 ounces. He is 50th percentile across the board. I was very encouraged that he gained 18 oz in 14 days... it made me feel so proud of my milk producing abilities :)

A few little things about Noah... He is extremely hot blooded. He has VERY crazy (almost terrible) hair that makes him look like a retired highway patrol officer. He almost always wears a beanie as a result. He loves his jungle play mat. I can leave him on there for 30-40 minutes and he is just happy as can be. He loves to nurse and is getting really good at it. He loves mom and dad. He likes being in his moby wrap. He likes going on walks with mom. He especially loves to sleep in his car seat... which we are very thankful for because we are driving to KS this Friday. He learned to eat out of a bottle recently. He's big enough now to wear his cloth diapers, but I'm trying to use up the pampers before we start them. Maybe when we get back from KS I'll start using them.

Chris and I are doing well. We started up our midweek Bible study again and we have the same group we had last Spring. We are reading Volume 2 of the Attributes of God by Tozer. I'm super thankful for our small group and really excited about growing in my view God. It's amazing how quick I can start to think that God is like me. I need to be reminded often of how mighty and holy He is. I'm feeling great these days! I was just reorganizing our storage closet and it struck me that I was down on the ground in a tiny corner lifting heavy things... oh the joy of not having a baby in me! I feel back to normal for the most part. I mean, I'm not quite in my jeans yet, but we'll get there. In other news, I found out last week that I have to have yet another surgery. Wow, I'm high maintenance. The thing is, my body loves to grow lumps of all sorts. This time it's a lump on my thyroid. I had it biopsied 4 years ago and it was benign, but Dr. Trott (who did my lip surgery last winter) suggests that while my deductible is met I get it taken out since it has grow quite a bit. Apparently it is a simple procedure, but I do have to stay one night in the hospital and Chris will have to give Noah bottles at home while I "pump and dump" for the day. I know that the Lord wants me to grow in dependence on Him and in denying myself the earthly comforts and pleasures that I can so easily worship. He is using all of these things to refine me and for that I am very thankful! Okay, I'm not thankful for the drainage tube that I will have hanging out of my neck, but I'm working on it.

Some things we are excited for: Noah dropping his nighttime feeding. Frazier coming home with us from Kansas! Harry Potter is coming out soon. Chris has all A's in his classes. Bethany is going to visit us for Christmas. We have some snow on the ground! New church members that we love very much... and brothers and sisters in Christ that the Lord is calling out to Jackson this spring.

Two Weeks Old!

2010-10-29T13:47:00.000-07:00

Noah is deciding if he likes the bath or not
Baby Noah is two weeks old now and things are going wonderfully! The first week was tough. I am so the mom that can't handle any little peep out of her child without running to his side. My parents were here the first week that we were home and it was just crazy. They were SO helpful with cooking and cleaning and getting little projects done. They got lots of cuddle time with Noah and did middle of the night shifts with him when he had to sleep on the billi-bed for his jaundice. I was a little bit of a wreck though. I was super tired and emotional and just cried about every little thing. Noah was in our bed because I didn't know how to get him to sleep in his bassinet alone. None of us were getting good sleep.

Turns out, you get your baby to sleep in their bassinet by making them do it. Funny how parenting works. Now, he sleeps like a champ. I just had to get over being afraid of his crying. I feel reassured that it's okay and even good for babies to cry so now he cries for about 5 or 10 minutes when I lay him down and then he falls asleep. What a world of difference this has made!

In his two weeks of life he has done quite a bit! He met his dog and soon-to-be best bud, Frazier. He got babysat by Grandma and Grandpa while Mom and Dad went on a date. He got circumcised (sad... very sad). His weight gain is up to 7.5 oz! He was 7 lbs when he was born. He has gone on lots of walks and done lots and lots and lots of sleeping! I feel like all he does is sleep and eat and poo.

Tomorrow Mike and Debbie leave and Chris and I are really looking forward to getting into more of a routine in life. Chris has his hands full with work, church, school and family so it will be really good for him to get into some kind of routine where he can do all of that. I'm looking forward to settling into stay-at-home-mommy-time. I'm not really sure what this will look like, but I'm excited to figure it out! I have found that while I'm nursing Noah I can really spend some great time in the Word and I'm looking forward to catching up on some sermons while I cook and clean.

In other news, we are starting the Great Buczinski Family Weight Loss of 2010. Since we all (me, Chris, Mike, Deb and Bethany) have a good 20 plus pounds to lose (yikes! that seems like an awful lot!) we are going to compete and see who can lose the most weight by Christmas. There will be some kind of wonderful prize for the winner, but we haven't decided on all the details quite yet. I hope this motivates me to lose this weight quickly!

The Kindness of God

2010-10-15T18:38:00.000-07:00

I am amazed at God's kindness and grace through labor and delivery! Chris and I are in awe of this whole experience. There are several things that I am thankful for. I'm so thankful that God made us aware of the low fluid levels in the womb. The thought of going home and not knowing that Noah wasn't getting oxygen is horrific! Of course, God would still be good and His plan would be worthy of praise, but it was so kind of him to give us this gift.

The Lord knew my desire to experience a natural labor and delivery and He also knew that on my own accord, I could NEVER have done it. Chris and I feel like we were just along for the ride while the Lord carried us through this experience. I really believe that He pushed me to my absolute end and there was sufficient grace to be found there. One of the things that I had written down to meditate on and remember throughout my labor was, "Trust God for His provision, and turn to Him as you come to the end of yourself. The demands of labor have been given by God as a gift. As I come to the end of my own resources, I am forced to turn to God for His help. It is good to cry out to Him. This is preparing me for all the times that I will need to cry out to God during Noah’s life. The utter helplessness of labor is teaching me to cling to the power of God in Noah’s life." This really happened! I was forced to come to the end of myself and to cry out to Him for help and there was certainly help to be found there.

Another thing Chris and I were trying to be reminded of, "I will learn that I can indeed obey God’s commands when everything in my body is pressing me towards selfishness. God will give more grace than I think possible!" Wow, this really happened too! Reflecting on yesterday I see how God purposed to force me through a natural labor even when I was ready to throw my goals out the window in order that I would see how much grace there is in Him. Thank you Lord! All Chris and I can keep saying is, "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." God is so good to give us the gift of natural labor when I did NOT want to do it.

One fear that I expressed to Chris and a few others is that I didn't want to go into natural birth with a prideful attitude, depending on my own strength. By God's grace He made that impossible. I am certain that I didn't do it on my own strength. It was a good gift from God and that was it. I was BEGGING for an epidural and looking for any way out, but God, in His kindness, knew that I would be so blessed by natural birth. Thank you Lord!

Thank you for carrying me in a way that I have never felt before. Thank you, Lord, for showing Chris and I that we are helpless and it is only you that can do anything beautiful in and through us. Thank you for showing us this lesson before we entered parenthood! Thank you for never leaving or forsaking me through labor and every dark place I turned there was still grace to be found there. Thank you for giving Chris grace to stand so strong with me. Thank you for blessing us FAR beyond anything that we could ever ask or imagine when you delivered a perfect healthy son into our arms. You are so kind. Your kindness has literally overwhelmed me.

A Birth Story

2010-10-15T18:12:00.000-07:00

While it's fresh in my mind... here are all the details! I won't be too gross, but since it's almost all moms that read my blog, I won't be too cautious either...

I went in for my appointment on Wednesday morning and since I was full term my midwife wanted to put me on the monitors to make sure Noah's heart rate was okay. He had some great accelerations, but then some weird decelerations where his heart rate would drop down below 70. She decided to send me to the hospital to be put on their monitors for the afternoon and then she was going to check and be sure that I had enough fluid in the womb. I was on the monitors from about 10:30am until 5pm and he had maybe one or two of those decelerations. She wasn't too concerned, but did the ultrasound to check the fluid. They like the fluid levels to be above an 8, and I was at 6.5. Her concern was that he didn't have enough cushion and was pinching off his oxygen supply. If we had gone home we would have no way to know if the baby was in distress. Also, the low fluid levels indicated a failing placenta and my fluid levels would only continue to drop which would make it more and more difficult to have a vaginal birth.

It seemed like an easy decision that we would be induced. We weren't excited about having to be induced, but REALLY excited that Noah would be here soon! Also thankful that she caught the low fluid levels. She decided to have me rest in the hospital (which is impossible really) and then she was going to induce me in the morning. In the meantime she inserted an Cervidil suppository that could have set me into labor spontaneously. Sure enough, around midnight I was having regular hard contractions. I tried to deal with them on my own until about 1 am and then I woke up Chris. We fell into a good groove together, breathing through contractions and using the birthing ball by the side of the hospital bed. At this point I was about 3 cm dilated and 75 % effaced.

Throughout my pregnancy Chris and I were excited about and preparing for a natural labor. We hired a doula to assist us and did everything we thought we could to prepare. Around 4 am I decided that I could care less about natural labor and I told Chris that I NEEDED an epidural. I was coping really well with the contractions as far as he could tell, but I really felt like I could not continue. He told me that we should call our doula and wait for her to arrive so we could see if she could help us. Of course every two minutes until she arrived I was asking, "Where is she? How long is she going to be?" I felt bad for putting Chris in this position when he knew how much I wanted natural labor, but I was having such a hard time dealing with the pain.

Jenna arrived around 4:30 and the nurse (whose name is Chris but I kept wanting to call her Anne) checked me and I was about 4 cm, 100% effaced. I said, "Sorry you had to come all this way Jenna, but I can't do this anymore." and I asked the Chris/Anne for an epidural. She called Theresa and, can you believe it??, Theresa said NO! I was so frustrated with this. The problem was that Noah's heart rate dropped every time I hunched over and that is the position I have to stay in if I am going to get an epidural. Theresa lives in Idaho so I had to wait AN HOUR for her to get there. Terrible. She suggested I get in the birth tub... I opted for the shower, but that really sucked and I got way too cold so we moved to the tub.

The tub worked miracles. I got in and immediately felt relief. The baby really liked when I was in there because I relaxed so much and labor progressed VERY FAST from here. The nurse kept walking by and hearing that I was getting more and more intense so she checked me and found that I was between 7 and 8 cm. I didn't believe her and said something like, "She doesn't really know what she's talking about..." under my breath when she walked out the door and she popped back and in and said, "Let me explain..." I felt a little bad, but not too much. At this point things got very strange. I was in a strange daze in between contractions and then doing searching for my husband's hand during contractions and breathing and moaning very loudly to get through the contractions.

Theresa got there around 6:30 and checked me and I was 9 cm!! I couldn't believe it. The contractions were SO intense. We moved back to our room and she had me on all fours on the hospital bed. I was SOOO scared. I asked Chris to pray over and over again and I was begging God to make me brave to get through the pushing. It seriously hurt like my insides were going to come out. I had to start pushing and it was like nothing I've ever felt. I asked Theresa, "It feels like my colon is going to rip apart. Is that happening?" She assured me that it was not and then I felt like it was okay to push. All I really remember is shoving my face in the pillows, grabbing Chris' hand, and staring at my wet hair. I pushed and prayed and begged God for grace and I heard Chris say, "You're my hero. You're doing so great." I saw him start to cry and shake a little and it kind of made me feel better to know that he was really going through this with me (side note: I just love him so much. I need to devote a whole blog to how amazing he was through all of it. I could not have done it without God's grace and without my sweet husband). So, there I was naked, wet hair, on all fours with my butt in my midwives' face, doing an awful lot of hollering...TMI? too bad. Having a baby is over the top raw and intense.

Finally, Noah was here!! Theresa passed her up to me through my legs and I was kneeling over him on the bed. It hit me all of a sudden, "That's right, we are having a baby." Somehow, I forgot what we were doing! I flipped over and grabbed him and put him on my chest. Soooo amazing!!! Chris and I let out a huge sigh of relief and gazed at our beautiful boy. It feels like a dream! I can't believe that it all happened. I can't believe that we have a healthy baby boy and that I delivered him with no drugs.

I have a lot to share about my Lord, my husband and my precious, precious little baby boy. More to come!

Thankful

2010-10-15T13:27:00.000-07:00

The Lord has done it! He brought our perfect, precious baby boy into the world yesterday morning at 6:50 am. I already feel like this was the best day of my life. I keep stopping and thinking, "Oh my gosh. Did this just happen!?" Birth was intense, magical, scary, and a little bit primal. Chris and I have been spending time reflecting on God's perfect provision through birth and all the lessons we learned from that experience. I am excited to share all the details of birth and this new exciting life... more to come!

October 13th is Finally Here!

2010-10-13T04:33:00.001-07:00

Wow, back in February I never thought this day would come! Baby still hasn't arrived, but there's definitely some progress since last night. Since about 8 pm last night I started having contractions that were pretty painful and about 20-25 minutes apart. Chris and I went to bed at 10pm and I woke up 1 am because the contractions are too painful to sleep through. Now they are about every 15 minutes. Not as exciting as I would like it to be, but it's definitely something! I just hope that I'm rested enough to get through it all.

Two More Days... maybe....

2010-10-11T07:34:00.001-07:00

It's Monday. Wednesday is the due date. I almost can't believe that I've made it this far! I definitely thought that I would have the baby by now. I'm not sure how I got that in my head, but needless to say, I'm fighting disappointment and discouragement at this point. Sometimes I think, "He's really not coming." But, Chris reminds me that this is impossible. The Lord is teaching me to be patient and to make the most of every moment while I'm home and not working and not tending to an infant. Honestly, I have been really lonely all day when Chris is at work. This past week I tried to be more diligent about inviting people over and spending time reading. Today my friend Tiffany is coming over and we're going to watch the movie "Babies" and bake ginger snaps. Tomorrow I'm going to each Natalie how to crochet. It's a glamorous life...

Over the past weekend three of my friends from California had their babies! I really am excited for them, but it makes the anticipation that much more difficult. I think I should lay off of Facebook so I don't get too discouraged. This verse in Psalm 119 has really convicted me this past week as I have had so much time and my thoughts have been racing about when this guy is going to come, "Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity, and revive me in your ways. Establish your word to your servant, as that which produces reverence for you." As I struggle with a complaining spirit it is a great reminder that I need to grow in reverence for my great God and I need to be disciplined to turn away from what distracts me from worship.

Since I don't do much, I don't have a whole lot to write about! I have really been enjoying my Bible reading plan. One interesting thing about it is that it has me in 1 Kings, Ecclesiastes, and Proverbs all at once right now and I'm getting a really cool picture of who Solomon was. I have been in Jeremiah for about 30 chapters now and it has been such an encouragement to me to persevere in ministry. What an amazing man of God he was! Over and over again he is faithful to God's Word and he is faithful to serve the Israelites and as a result of the hard things he is saying on behalf of God, he is almost put to death continually! I can shy away from saying hard things because I fear man and not God. He is really teaching me about compassionate boldness in ministry... and about the wickedness of my own heart! How often I can ask for help (especially from Chris) and then when I get it, I am tempted to revile because I don't want my sin pointed out. This is just what the Jews did to Jeremiah. Among other books this reading plan has me in, I am reading through Acts as well. Yesterday I started listening to MacArthur's series Paul's trials before Felix in the end of Acts. It's so great!

I hope the next time I blog is because baby Noah has arrived! I'm praying for patience and for contentment in these last few days of pregnancy.

Two More Weeks!

2010-09-27T12:11:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that we will be a family of three in a matter of days! Chris and I are sooo excited for Noah to get here. Our hospital bags are packed, we have been meeting with our doula, and we are prepared to pass off any ministry that we are committed to. Chris and I have been thinking and praying a lot about how to make labor and delivery an act of worship to God where we are leaning on His strength to get through it. I have been so encouraged by His Word and by the truths found there that I think will be great motivation to get through labor. I want to look back and be thankful for the grace God gave me to do it naturally and to do it with grace. I know that things may not go the way we planned, but I am preparing my heart to give God praise and glory no matter how the labor and delivery goes.

This past weekend we had our first Cornerstone Church Women's Conference. It was such a great success. Pam Hardy came and spoke on joy. It was such a blessing. I was encouraged and convicted that I need to be depending on the Lord and humbly recognize that I need his Word SO bad. It is my greatest struggle as a Christian to be in His Word faithfully and I want that to change.

Chris and the rest of the steering committee at church spent their weekend in Cora, WY on the Green River planning and praying for our church. It was a really profitable time as well.

Yesterday I thought I was starting early labor because I was having contractions 10 minutes apart that were more uncomfortable than normal and lasted all day. But, sadly, they stopped. I'm hoping that it really is any day now!

I'm very large!

Leslie and Charlotte are coaxing Noah to come out

More Baby Showers!

2010-09-27T11:57:00.001-07:00

We had two more baby showers for Noah when I got home from California. My work friends have been planning a "White Trash Baby Shower" for us for several weeks. What fun! You can see in the photos that Chris and I got all dolled up for the event. They decorated the yard with beer cans, a mattress and a pick up truck. Tennille made a DELICIOUS white trash cake and they showered us with lots of money to spend at Babies R Us. We are so thankful for them! I felt really blessed that they would put the energy and money into a party for us. One friend at work has been SO excited about Noah coming. It's awesome to see how my relationships at work have grown after two years at Sidewinders. They are such a fun bunch and it was really a great blessing to celebrate with them.

Of course the amazing women at Cornerstone Church threw me a wonderful shower as well. They are so thoughtful in how they put these types of events together. We had a beautiful brunch at Melissa's house. The main gift that I got there was a bunch of cloth diapers! They were able to get me 25 diapers... mostly fuzzibuns and bumgenius. I'm so excited about them! I also got an ErgoCarrier and a Kelty backpack to carry him in. I can't wait to use all of that stuff! They spent time praying for our little family and encouraging me with Scripture as we embark on this journey. They put together a beautiful little book for me full of Scripture and quotes to remind me of where my focus needs to be in the coming years.

Chris and I have been a very tight budget since August and it has been really incredible to see all the ways that the Lord is providing. We will never have to buy a diaper for our baby boy (or the rest of the kids we have for that matter!). We have everything we need and more and we haven't purchased one thing for Noah! Someone at church gave me a Medela Free Style pump which retails at about $370. What!? We are so overwhelmed and thankful for how God is taking sweet care of us. Thank you, thank you, thank you everyone who has blessed us so much!

California Trip

2010-08-23T09:48:00.000-07:00

Chris and I have had a very busy week! Last Friday Neill and Natalie got married here in Jackson. Neill moved out here with the crew to plant the church. He heads up our music ministry and many other things. Natalie was our intern last summer and they started dating this past winter. Natalie is a good friend of mine; we usually spend time together at least once a week. When they get back from their honeymoon they are going to stay with us for a few days before they can move into their new home. Anyway, after their wedding we drove through the night to Denver and went to Chris' cousin's wedding Saturday night. It was at a beautiful home and had fantastic food! The next day Chris and Bethany took me to the Denver airport and I flew to LA. Chris and Bethany drove to Kansas from their. Chris dropped Frazier off at hunting school. Sad!! I miss him. He's going to be there until after the baby is born. Our friend John is training him since we don't have access to any birds. Hopefully he will come back an amazing hunting dog! So, Chris had to get a bunch of dental work done and he was able to get it done for VERY cheap if he did it at home in KS. It was another opportunity to see the Lord providing for us! We are super thankful for people's generosity.

In LA I was able to spend lots of time with family. Mom had to go back to work so I spent a good amount of time with Heather and the kids and then Debbie came out for a few days. It was a very relaxing trip. The heat was a little tough for this pregnant woman, but other than that it was great. My first baby shower was Saturday and I felt so very blessed! I got to see friends and family that I haven't seen for a long time and Chris, Noah and I were blessed with lots of baby gifts! I am slightly obsessed with the baby room. Debbie and Mike painted and reupholstered a BEAUTIFUL black and white glider chair. I LOVE it. I'll post pics soon. I have lots of little projects to do... washing baby clothes, cloth diapers, putting together car seat, finishing a mobile I'm working on, etc. I'm trying to hold off on doing too much of it before I stop working. I only have one more week left!

I feel like I learned a lot this past week and I'm thinking through a lot of things in my own heart and for our family. I was thankful for the time to do that! I will post about that sooner or later.

All is well!

2010-08-08T11:47:00.000-07:00

We got all our test results back and my blood sugar levels are just fine. She said it may have been something I ate the day I did my first test. And come to think of it, I had very syrupy waffles that morning. Makes sense. Also, the test results came back about the painful contractions and all is well with that too. I'm super thankful because I want to be able to work the rest of this month. It will help out financially quite a bit... even though it is SO tiring. I'm setting aside Mondays now to cook meals for the week and last week it went so well! I only had to cook one other day and we were able to eat leftovers and frozen meals that I prepared ahead of time. I feel very organized and accomplished this way :o) Since we are on a tighter budget we can't rely on being able to grab lunch out or go to dinner if I'm too tired to cook. If I do the work on Monday than we don't need to worry about it all week. I did have to warn Chris that we will probably be eating a lot of the same meals for a while because I'm trying to do easy things that I can freeze (pasta, chili, meatloaf, etc.).

In other news, we officially picked our baby boy name. We are going to call him Noah Andrew. We chose Noah for a couple reasons. For one, we both love it. I like that I can picture a little boy with the name or a manly man cutting down trees in the forest. It seems versatile. Also, Chris has a great love for all things creation and flood-related in history. Noah is obviously a key player in that part of history. I love it also because of what is said of Noah's faith in the book of Hebrews. He really had such incredible faith! He built that boat for years and years and years when everyone else doubted him. Not only that, but IT HAD NEVER RAINED BEFORE! God said it would flood and there was no way for Noah to even reference what that meant, but he just really trusted the Lord. As for the name Andrew, I was listening to John MacArthur's series on The Master's Men on Grace to You and I was so moved by the disciple Andrew. If you haven't listened to these sermons, you must! Andrew was so humble. He was known as the disciple who was always bringing others to Jesus. He put aside his own preferences in a very Christ-like way. Church history tells us that after he shared the Gospel with the governor's wife and she was converted, the governor sentenced him to be crucified on an X shape cross. He preached the Gospel for 2 days as he hung on the cross! This just brings me to tears. What an incredibly gentle and passionate man. I hope our son grows up to have the faith of Noah and the desire to bring people to Jesus like Andrew.

a predicament

2010-08-05T04:31:00.000-07:00

so i was laying in bed dreaming about this really big spider in our house, when i heard the door slam and frazier started barking. back story... Chris keeps waking up really hot in the night so he goes into the living room and sleeps on the couch with the front door open. i have "encouraged" him not to do this in the past because bugs come in the house. i can't confirm this is what he did last night (because it's 5:30 am and he won't wake up to answer my investigatory questions), but i think it is. so... i woke up to a loud bang, got out of bed to see what in the heck is happening and then i hear this little sound under the couch. what!? it's like a thumping or chewing or something. it moved from one side of the couch to the other and it stops whenever i move stuff around. so i'm almost certain that there is a creature living in our house now and i'm so very unsettled about this. i don't want to go back to bed because i feel like i need to babysit this creature in case he decides to relocate to another part of the house. what to do... what to do...

30 Weeks!

2010-08-04T08:18:00.000-07:00

I have made it 30 weeks in my pregnancy and I'm very thankful! So far so good. Last week my parents were in town and they were able to come with us to our ultrasound appointment to see the little guy. That's right, little GUY. It was so precious! We were really thinking we had a baby named Grace in there, so to find out we were having a boy was quite a shock. But, after packing up the girl clothes, I am now super thankful and excited for our baby boy. I can't believe that in 10 weeks we are going to be parents. I can hardly wait!

Pregnancy is going just fine. I had my blood work done last week and my iron levels are a bit low and my sugar was a bit high. Now I'm sitting in the hospital waiting room doing my 3 hour glucose test to be sure that I don't have gestational diabetes. I've been having braxton hicks contractions since about 18 weeks and in the past 3 weeks they have gotten super painful when I am at work or on my feet for too long. My midwife wants to do a couple tests to be sure that labor is progressing at all and that the contractions aren't doing anything. In the meantime, it is SUPER hard to work while I'm having them. I only have one month more of work so I'm very thankful for that and praying for grace to get through the shifts that I do have. It's hard work waiting tables when your pregnant! I think there should be an automatic 20% tip for all pregnant waitresses. In other pregnant news, we met with a doula a couple weeks ago and we are decided that we are going to hire her! I'm really excited. She is really sweet. Her name is Jenna and she spent two years in the Peace Corps in Africa assisting a midwife in delivering babies. Because she is not DONA certified yet she is giving us an amazing deal on her services and she will use our birth as one of her required 3 births to become certified. I'm really set on having a natural birth and I know it's going to be a lot of hard work so I'm glad that Chris and I will have the help we need to get through it.

Our baby room is coming along nicely. My parents helped me set up a guest bed, clean out the closet, and set up the crib. The Mumma's are letting us use an adorable bassinet that the girls slept in. Mike and Debbie repainted and reupholstered a glider chair and hopefully we will be able to get that in the room soon too. Chris and Dad built some shelves in our small storage area and I had Dad help me use the scrap wood to make some decorations for the room. We painted lots of birdies for the room! When spring first sprung in Jackson Chris and I bought a bunch of bird seed and we would sit by the window in that room and watch all the cool birds hang out on our lawn. We would pull out the computer and try to find the names of the different birds. It inspired me to do a bit of a bird theme in the baby's room.

I started reading Baby Wise last week. I have always heard mixed reviews about this book because of a lot of drama that happened with "Ezzo Kids" years and years ago at GCC. I wasn't thinking I would read it because of all that I had heard about it, but Sera Mumma encouraged me that it would be really helpful in understanding how to set up a schedule if that's what we decided to do. I must say, I really love it. I don't want to be dogmatic about anything here because I know that we need to be super flexible with our plans for baby, but I have been so informed and encouraged by this book! He seems to be really flexible with feeding and sleeping, but still structured enough that there is some sort of schedule set up. What I had always heard is that the whole point is so that baby is not running the house, but in reading the book I don't think that's his point at all. His point is that you would have a healthy baby who is getting full meals and plenty of sleep. I love the idea of a baby of 10-12 weeks sleeping through the night too. But again, I want to be really flexible. We might meet the little guy and then throw all those plans out the window.

I feel really blessed that I get to have three baby showers in the next month! My mom and Debbie are putting one together for me in CA on August 21st. This one will be mostly for stuff off of my registry at BabiesRUs. The girls at church are having a cloth diaper shower for me the next weekend. We are going with FuzziBun diapers... the best in my opinion. And my sweet friends at work are going to have a "White Trash Baby Shower" for Chris and I. I'm not entirely sure what to expect, but I am excited that they would want to bless us in that way. Also, they love theme parties so it's just as fun for them. Apparently they are going to get a root beer keg and we will be eating things like tater tots and pigs in a blanket at Erica's trailer in town. Sounds like a blast!

Oregon Family Vacation Part 2

2010-06-22T10:29:00.000-07:00

We are still enjoying the time together in Oregon! Chris spent another day surfing on Father's Day and he was able to get up on the board this time! I think this is pretty great considering he's never been and he had no teacher. We spent Father's Day browsing the shops downtown and ended up at the marina. We watched 30 sea lions fight and play near the dock and tried Mo's "famous" clam chowder. It was delicious!

Yesterday we went to the Oregon Coast Aquarium for the first part of the day. Chris had never been to an aquarium before and apparently he had no idea what they were. On the way there he said, "Wait, we're not going to the beach?" I think he thought you ended up out in the ocean at some point when you visited an aquarium. It was pretty small, but they had a shark tunnel and a touch pool which were both very cool. The weather is has been SO beautiful and the rest of the day we spent down at the beach laying out and playing in the surf. Chris and Brad went all the way in, but in order to avoid hypothermia they immediately ran out of the water. It is such cold water! Last night we went to dinner to celebrate 30 years of marriage for mom and dad.

It's been really great to spend time with my niece and nephew. I don't get to see them too often so it has been a sweet time to get to know them better and be an auntie. Amalia is really close already with Chris and I because we have had a lot of time with her, but William doesn't really know us. He is seriously such a cute boy! He's super busy all the time and quite the little bruiser. Ami has me wrapped me around her little finger. I just can't handle how cute she is! She is a super sweet and sensitive girl too. Chris and I love them so much.

Today we are off to the Tillamook Cheese Factory! I'm pretty excited to try some fancy cheeses and get ice cream at their creamery. We are going to play it be ear, but we might drive the extra hour to see Astoria where The Goonies was filmed. Brad and I really want to see Mikey's house.

Oregon Family Vacation!

2010-06-20T07:07:00.000-07:00

We are on day three of our big "Newbold Family Vacation" on the coast of Oregon and it has been wonderful! Chris and I packed up after work on Thursday and set out for Oregon. I was very proud of myself for driving from 4:30 to midnight. I got to talk to my very good friend Molly for almost 2 hours on the way there. What I really love about our friendship is that when we have the chance to catch up it doesn't feel like 4 months have passed since our last chat. Chris slept for the first shift while I drove across boring eastern Idaho. A point of contention in our relationship when we are on road trips is that I fall asleep constantly. I cannot stay awake to keep him company and it seems like every time we switch driving shifts, I get immediately exhausted. When I am able to drive for 7 straight hours that is an amazing accomplishment! I felt so proud when he woke up and I got to announce that we had made it into Oregon.

From there Chris drove the red eye shift while I tried to sleep in the little bed we made in the back of the Element. At 6 am we arrived in Eugene, OR! I enjoyed a tall skinny cinnamon dulce latte at Starbucks while I read the Word and did some preparation for teaching small group when I get back to Jackson. After that I used our incredibly handy iPhone to navigate my way to all of the maternity shopping in Eugene. I have been struggling to think rightly about my expanding figure and I know that the issue really is contentment. I want so bad to value what God values as beautiful! I know I don't need to be distracted by the fact that I don't fit into my pants anymore, but I can be encouraged that my body is showing signs of this new and blessed season of life. But, the reality is, I don't fit into my pants anymore. So, I was able to go shopping for some very cute new maternity clothes and I was so thankful for the opportunity! Later that afternoon we met up with my parents, Brad, Heather, and the kiddos in the parking lot of Ye Olde Pancake House. What a joy to see the family and start this vacation together!

Distracted by the lush green forests and winding blue river, we made the hour treck from Eugene to the coast of Oregon. Once in Florence, OR we were greeted by sheer cliff edges and the never ending Pacific. What a beautiful coast this is! Around dinner time we made it to our condo in Newport, OR. It didn't take long for us to jump into the rock shower with DOUBLE SHOWER HEADS!! I will say, the idea of two shower heads made me a lot more excited than the actual experience. In truth, I felt like I was on a water ride the whole time and kept getting splashed in the face. Our condo is so very beautiful. I will post pics later.

Our first day here we woke up and spent time hanging out, drinking coffee, reading, playing with the kids. Chris was able to get a solid 8 hours of sleep (which rarely happens at home) and he woke up super rested. We all set out for a walk to the nearby Yachina Lighthouse that has been in use since 1872. We explored the tide pools nearby. Brad and I were astounded that Chris had never been to a tide pool. He had never seen a starfish and didn't know the joy of sticking your finger in a slimy sea anenome! What a Kansas boy. From the lighthouse we walked to a nearby restaurant and enjoyed fish and chips... in my case shrimp and chips because I didn't want to waste my allotted mercury consumption for the week on halibut fish and chips. I'm trying to pace myself as I fully intend of indulging in sea food while I am here. After lunch we walked down the sandy beach and Chris surfed for almost three hours! I was so proud of him. He is the type of guy that picks up athletic things very quickly. When we went skiing this Christmas he hadn't skiied for close to 10 years and he jumps right on the black diamonds. I can't say he took to surfing so readily, but he did a great job for having never done it and having to teacher in the water with him. He has the board today too so hopefully he is able to get up and ride for longer.

It has been a joy to spend these last couple days with my family! The Lord has really grown all of us in the last year, and even in the last month. I am thankful for a family that loves Jesus and wants to share fellowship with one another. Excited for the rest of the week with these crazy people!!

What I was trying to say...

2010-05-25T07:53:00.000-07:00

" Fruit-bearing is not a matter of being strong or weak, good or bad, brave or cowardly, clever or foolish, experienced or inexperienced. Whatever your gifts, accomplishments, or virtues, they cannot produce fruit if you are detached from Jesus Christ. Christians who think they are bearing fruit apart from the Vine are only tying on artificial fruit. They run around grunting and groaning to produce fruit but accomplish nothing. Fruit is borne not by trying, but by abiding." -John MacArthur

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. " -John 15:5

A New Mission

2010-05-24T07:41:00.001-07:00

Chris and I were walking yesterday and talking about why it is that we don't share the Gospel with people in our lives who don't know Jesus. I was thinking about people that I know who share the Gospel constantly and I think the difference is that those people are totally enthralled with Jesus Christ. They love him so much. He is as much a reality in their life as the need to eat food and drink water. They think about eternity with him, and they think about what eternity without him would be like. Not only do they share the Gospel all the time with everyone, but their lives look other-worldly. By the decor in their home, the clothes on their back, their conversation, how they use their time, you can really see that their citizenship is not here. They are the type of people that you look at and think, "Well, they're different." But, it's good different. My life looks a little too much like the lives of the unbelievers in Jackson. I'm not partying and getting drunk and blaspheming the Lord, but I am valuing my appearance, complaining, being discontent and squandering my time.
I want to be a patient and Christ-centered mom. I want to lay down my life for my child. I want to be super gentle and humble in my interactions with Chris. I want to be his main encourager and his comfort when life is hard. I want to grow in my respect for him and my desire to see him be like Christ. I want to share the Gospel with people I interact with who don't know Him. I want to share the Gospel with all the people I interact with. I want to disciple people with a pure heart and true affection. I want to pour out my life for the church the way that Christ poured out his life for the church. The problem is that I make these my goals. I can idolize things that are really pure desires. When I make these things my idol it is so easy to feel guilty, defeated, overwhelmed that I don't measure up.
My new mission is to love Jesus Christ. I want to think about Him all the time. I want to think about the Gospel and think about how precious it is. I want to ponder the compassion and the love that Jesus had for sinners. I want to think about his selfless abandon. I want to want God's glory the way that the Son wanted the Father's glory. I want my life to be about the Gospel because I think that's the way to bear fruit that will make me the wife, mother, and Christian that I want to be. Sounds so simple.

A Selfless Mother

2010-05-11T07:48:00.001-07:00

I read 1 Samuel 1 and 2 this morning and am so struck by Hannah's selflessness. When I read verse 11 I am tempted to think that Hannah's desire for a son is selfish. I've always been taught that you don't bargain with God. You don't say, "God, if you give me this, then I will do this for you." Hannah almost seems to have that attitude when she prays for a son, but then you see what a godly and sacrificial mother she is and you know that her initial prayer for a child was nothing but genuine.

I remember hearing a missionary at Masters share with a group of girls in our dorm that when she got married she prayed that the Lord would not give her any children if they were not going to love and serve Him with all their hearts. What a noble prayer! Her concern with the things of the Lord was far greater than her concern for the things of this world. In the same way, Hannah was not dreaming of years of motherhood riddled with children's books, outdoor games, sibling rivalry and little league. She knew that the child in her womb belonged to God and that she would only have a few short years with him at her side. She vowed to bring him to the temple and leave him there once he was weaned. She would have weaned him at 2 or 3 years. So, when Samuel was 3 years old she took him to the temple and left him there so that he could assist Eli in priestly duties. Then, she prayed. She prayed with joy that she was blessed to bring a child into the world that would serve the Rock and Redeemer. She prays that the proud would humbled, the wicked would be judged and that the Lord would care for His saints. If this isn't a woman who has her priorities straight, I don't know what one is!

Hannah's treatment of Samuel almost seems wrong when you compare it to what the world values in a mother today. How could she leave a three year old at the temple and then visit him once a year? How could she nurse him for 3 years knowing she would not have him after that? She was able to do this because she trusted in a faithful God who would care for and honor her son's commitment to him. She loved the Lord more than she loved her child. I pray that I could be a mom that is this selfless and heaven-minded! I bet it will be really easy to get caught up in my kid. I bet it will be easy to run to their defense and to be emotionally swayed by their cries and their pleas. I pray that I would grow in my heavenly mindedness now so that when my baby is born I can think rightly about them. I want to see them as an instrument for me to grow in humility, sacrifice, service and discipline. I want to pray that the Lord would use them for His glory and His purpose. The Lord had a specific plan for Samuel and He used Hannah's selfless love to bring about his plan. I know that God's plan for my child will be much different than that and by His grace I hope to have many years to enjoy my child. I so look forward to all the special moments that a mother has with her baby! But above those special moments, I want to value God's glory and His sovereign plan for my family, whatever that may be.

Lately!

2010-05-06T06:46:00.001-07:00

Thank you Molly Wilson for your gentle rebuke to get me to start blogging! I always check my blog to see what my friends are posting and I always think, You need to blog. So here I go!

I'm 17 weeks pregnant now and things are going well. I don't feel NEARLY as sick as I was several weeks ago. Praise the Lord for that! I still feel a little sick at night, but nothing like it was in the first trimester. I can only button one pair of pants, the other ones I have to wear fastened with a rubberband or with me BellaBand (which I don't wear often... it's kind of annoying to have to readjust it all the time). I had my 16 week appointment last week and things are going well! I'm so thankful that the baby is healthy. I can feel the baby kicking every once in a while and it really makes me so happy! Every day I think, "I can't wait until October to hold my baby!" With all of the health issues that I've had, I'm just so very thankful that this pregnancy is going so smoothly. Everyday I think about labor and delivery and how very excited I am for that day! I got several books from the library about natural birth that I'm excited to go through. I'm hoping to educate Chris a little because he really has no idea what to expect.

Some other new things, we recently moved to a two bedroom apartment that we love. We have a washer and dryer, a dishwasher (thanks to Leslie and Eric!), a baby room, a beautiful view and patio. Frazier wears a collar so he can't get off the property and that has been such a huge blessing. He gets to hang outside all day which makes him a much happier puppy. Chris and I bought a punch card to the rec center in town and we started swimming laps this week. What an incredible workout! I feel like I am getting the same cardio as with running, but without the impact on my back and legs. I love it so far. We've also been trying to hike a couple times a week... but this week it just won't stop snowing so we haven't gotten out yet.

There's a lot I'm missing here, but I just wanted to quick update everyone. The Lord continues to challenge and grow me. Lately I have been seeing my sin so much and it's been really hard not to mope about it. I'm trying to rest in His grace and in Christ's sacrifice rather than wallowing in self-pity over my sin. I'm thankful that God is making me more and sensitive to things of Him. It's encouraging to think that He PROMISES to grow me into His likeness in Christ Jesus!

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness

2010-03-09T16:30:00.001-08:00

I think I might really believe that. Having a clean home is so important to me, and lately I have been humbled by not being able to clean my house. The dishes pile up, the dog hair on the carpet, the dirty clothes, the clean clothes crumpled in the laundry basket. It's out of hand. This week the church was blessed with a missions group from The Masters College who gave up their spring break and time with family to come to Jackson and serve us. And serve us they are!! They are so amazing. I have had my kitchen and bathroom cleaned, my car detailed, Chris' truck detailed (no small task) and tomorrow we get help packing. In the meantime, I was able to file a ton of paperwork and even give the dog a bath today! Now I won't feel so terrible when he is on our bed.

In other Buczinski news, we are moving!! Officially... well as official as anything in Jackson can be when it's based on someone else's verbal commitment. We are signing the lease this weekend. We will really miss our precious little studio. It is perfect for us, but not so perfect for us, a dog and a baby. The new place has TWO bedrooms! We don't even have one bedroom right now. I'm really hoping that I feel well enough to pack and unpack.

So all that say, we are very thankful. God continues to provide for all of our needs.

First Appointment

2010-03-05T10:01:00.000-08:00

We had our first appointment with our midwife, Theresa Lurch. It was great! I really love the office and I really like Theresa so far as well. We were able to have our first ultrasound and see our little baby's heartbeat! It was really wonderful. I'm so thankful that baby is thriving. I found out that I have lost about 8 pounds so far and Theresa wasn't worried about this at all. I decided that despite the nausea I would not take any drugs to control it. I thought about it a lot and decided that if I am passionate about natural birth, I think I should be passionate about natural pregnancy too. In God's sovereignty anything could happen with our birth and pregnancy and things could end up totally different than I anticipate, but as far as I can control it, I want to stay away from any drugs. I am almost 9 weeks, so I'm hoping and praying that I only have a few more weeks of this left! Then life can get back to normal (somewhat).

I'm trying to convince Chris that we don't want to know the sex of the baby until they're born. I think it would be so exciting to wait! He is totally not on board on with this yet, but I have several weeks to convince him otherwise. As I was browsing the internet I decided that I'm not really that into gender specific things and would rather have the excitement of finding out the sex of our baby in the hospital room. Something about that is so wonderful to me. I'll keep you posted on what Chris decides!

Tomorrow Chris and I are going to Idaho for the day and we're going to run some errands and browse Target for baby items. We want to get a feel for what we like. I'm hoping that I can get through the day not being too sick. I'm very excited about going to Coldstone!

We aren't moving next week after all. The people are still holding our apartment for us, but we need to get someone into our place first because we are in a lease. Lots of people have come to see it and liked it, but I think because it's a studio they tend to get turned off by it.

Well, there's all my boring updates. I have been laying around more than I ever have, eating the worst possible foods, and I haven't done a dish for several weeks...too gross right now. Our little church is really putting Jesus on display in how they serve us right now. Today my friend Tiffany is coming over to help me clean. Praise the Lord for His people! I'm looking forward to visiting CA in a few weeks, camping in Moab, celebrating our 2nd anniversary, Hawaii, and Mom and Dad Buczinski coming into town in May. Lots to look forward to this spring and summer!

Baby Musings and Grumblings...

2010-02-21T13:32:00.001-08:00

Well, I obviously haven't been very good at posting on here. The excitement about pregnancy quickly turned to constant nausea and I can hardly stand it. As I type Chris is driving around the west bank looking for something that I might want to eat. I just feel so awful! I cry a lot right now... mostly about feeling sick. I'm trying to find joy in the Lord and to be thankful for this time in life, but it's been a lot more difficult than I would have thought.

Lord willing, we are moving to a two bedroom place in a few weeks. There's still some issues that we have to pan out with the apartment we are in, but it looks like we'll be packing up pretty soon. I'm so excited about having more space and actually having a bedroom! It's super cute and it's right in the price range we were hoping for. I'm very thankful that there will be a missions team from TMC here during that time to help us move so I won't have to do too much on my own. It's just so hard to do things right now!

Some baby things I've been thinking about...
1. Should we vaccinate our baby?? Should we wait until they are older?
2. Talking about baby names a lot a week ago and now not so much
3. Throwing around the idea of putting red, gold and brown in the baby room. I decided I'm not into pink and blue for a room...or a baby theme at all.
4. Thinking about finding a used day bed and a trundle for the baby room for guests!
5. I won't have to go to the restaurant to work anymore!!!!!!!!
6. How on earth do I decide what things to register for???
7. Will baby sleep in our bed? for how long?
8. Setting aside 30 bucks a month for cloth diapers so I can have my dream and use Fuzzybuns.
9. How will I ever get through birth naturally??

Now mothers, I know it might be tempting to say, "Baby in the bed!! The nerve." or "CLOTH DIAPERS?? So naive." But refrain for now because I am in a fragile state. Though I would love to hear thoughts on some of those things.

Also, I've been having super weird dreams lately. Lots of dreams about my midwife who I haven't met yet. Last night in my dream her office manager chewed me out and last week I dreamt that I went to my first appointment in the grocery store and she was just awful. I just took a nap and dreamt that Martha Stewart went to my Bible Study and I was trying to find a way to ask her to do my baby shower. Then I woke up and was so excited that I have a mom and mom-like friends that seriously know how to throw amazing showers!!! Can't wait until August!

Rejoicing!!

2010-02-07T06:49:00.001-08:00

I've been dying to post this somewhere, but wasn't quite ready for the dreaded Facebook announcement. So I thought I would post on my humble blog so all three of you who read this would know that I'm pregnant!!! Yay!!! We are so excited! There's still a few people that I couldn't get a hold of to tell on the phone, but hopefully I'll get a hold of them today. All the moms, dads, and siblings know already. We found out yesterday afternoon. Wednesday Dr. Trott told me that I would have to have another surgery on my mouth so my moms started planning a trip out here then it dawned on me that if I'm pregnant there won't be any surgery so I should figure that out soon so they don't book the trip. Sure enough, pregnant. Also sure enough, they still want to book the trip so we can be excited all together! I have to talk to Dr. Trott tomorrow and figure out what this means for my surgery, but I'm finding rest in God's sovereignty and knowing that conception is a miracle every time and God's hand is behind this. It may not have been my exact timing because of health concerns I've had lately, but I know that God is knitting together this baby in my womb that he knew before the foundations of the earth, so I'm pretty sure that He knows exactly what He's doing. It blows me away to think that before there was ever an earth or an Adam or an Eve, The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit were communing in perfect harmony and decided that in January 2010 (even though they are completely outside space and time) this tiny poppy-seed-size baby would form! It comforts me to think that He knows exactly what this baby's name will be, what the sex is, how they'll look, and if they'll have all their little parts. What a precious gift. Chris and I are truly blown away. Yesterday I was like a deer in the headlights all day, then I woke up excited to think that we are already parents to a tiny baby that we will get to meet this Fall! Yay!!!

Women are Emotional

2010-01-27T07:34:00.000-08:00

I can totally understand where this women is coming from...well maybe not totally. But sometimes you just can't help but cry at the end of Elf...er I mean, at the end of a movie.

Doctors

2010-01-27T07:22:00.001-08:00

A lot has been going on the past couple weeks! I got insurance January 1st and there were several things that I knew I needed to sort out with my health. One of those things was to get a growth cut out of my lip and let me tell you, it hurts! I've been on vicadin for 6 days straight and I cry whenever I eat or brush my teeth. I think by the end of this I will be a very skinny woman with terrible, terrible cavities. Last night I almost couldn't stand it anymore and I was just crying and praying and hoping something would change. Leslie sent me a bunch of verses to read through that would help me think of the Lord in the midst of physical pain and I'm excited to read those this morning.

I've also been dealing with some gastrointestinal issues for the last year and a half and went of gluten for most of 2009. I had to see a gastroenterologist for this and Chris and I have been driving back and forth to Idaho Falls for these appointments. The time with Chris has been really encouraging and we have had some great conversations sitting in the car with each other for hours. We are supposed to get the results back from those procedures by the end of this week. I'm looking forward to all of this being over!

It's been a struggle to not be able to work, to be drugged most of the day, and to not be able to talk (as much as I want to at least). But I'm learning to trust the Lord that this is only a season that He has for me and I can be faithful even in that. Sometimes I feel like I have squandered my time during this, and I'm sure that in a lot of ways I have, but I'm trying to remember that it's okay to rest. I have been able to get a ton of things done around the house and that's exciting! Mike and Debbie bought us new book shelves for Christmas and we've been getting those set up--they look SO great! I've been obsessively cleaning house and I even organized all our paper work and files. This was no small task. I love it when Chris comes home and I have company again...not that Frazier isn't good company. I'm trying to make nice dinners for him then I eat mac and cheese or a smoothie because I can't really chew. Tonight I'm making an elk roast! I hope it turns out okay.

1000 Graces

2010-01-18T06:42:00.000-08:00

Seeing that it's Monday, I'll continue my thankfulness list!

5. I'm thankful that God has no wrath towards me!

6. I'm thankful that God asks us to do things his way, and then he lets us experience joy and contentment in doing things his way.

7. I'm thankful that Chris does the dishes

8. I'm thankful that all the doctors I've had to see lately are covered under my insurance.

9. I'm thankful that we live in Jackson

10. I'm thankful that I get to spend the day with Chris

Elementary Truths

2010-01-17T18:08:00.000-08:00

Do you ever learn something about God and then think, "Wow, how did I not know that for the last six years??" That's happened to me a couple times in the past few weeks. I've been learning more about God's mercy and the glory of the cross. In church the other day Eric said that when we sin God has no wrath towards us. For some reason when I sin I always think He does. I know that he hates sin and I know that my sin hurts him, but he definitely doesn't have wrath towards me. Why doesn't he? Because he poured out all his wrath on Jesus on the cross. I love this truth. In the past six years I have often found myself avoiding God after I know that I sinned because I really felt like he hated me. I don't know why I thought this way! No one ever told me that he hated me when I sinned. God's love is so amazing and so divine and when I sin he wants nothing more than that I would run to him. His kindness truly does lead us to repentance.

Friday I was listening to Grace To You on confessing sins and MacArthur said that when we sin we don't have to ask God's forgiveness. We only confess our sin and agree with him that we sinned against him. This is amazing too! This really pointed me to the cross. Truly, ALL my sin was forgiven on the cross. When I sin I get to thank him that he already paid for my sin and that I'm covered by the blood of Jesus. Sometimes I felt like I was not forgiven until I went to God and asked for forgiveness. This really blows my mind and makes me so thankful.

I know these are super elementary truths to the Gospel, but sometimes they just hit you. It sounded so profound when I was reminded of these things. Once again, it humbles me. It humbles me that I don't have to do anything and there is nothing I can do to seek favor from God. His love for me is based solely on his love for his Son Jesus. How inconsequential I am! He saved me from my sin and death only to grant me complete righteousness in Christ. Thank you Lord!

2010-01-15T09:08:00.001-08:00

see more Epic Fails

Wounded and Humble...

2010-01-15T08:42:00.001-08:00

Because I've been thinking through the issue of confrontation lately, last night I thought about some of the things that I have been exhorted in that the Lord has used to completely transform my life. Chris has been reminding me lately that when I am confronted I need to view that person who is calling me to grow as someone who has the Holy Spirit and who God is using to grow me. God's Word convicts us and changes us, but one means that he uses to grow us is through people who are aware of our sin and shortcomings. It helps me to receive exhortation when I see that this person is sacrificing their own comforts to come to me and it's not easy to confront. I don't want to discourage them by responding pridefully.

My relationships with family and friends was completely transformed when God prompted a faithful sister to come to me and humbly exhort me to not choose who I want to love based on whether or not I like someone, but to choose to love everyone who God puts in my life. I went from treating people out of sinful pride that wanted to be served and preferred myself over everyone else, to seeing each person as an opportunity to demonstrate Christ's impartiality and to consider others as more important than myself.

The way that I viewed money and stuff was transformed when God put it in the heart of a faithful brother to exhort Chris and I to give with liberality out of the abundance that God has given us. Chris and I have experienced so much joy through this life lesson even though it was hard to hear initially. We are now free to give more and more of our money away to people in need and to the church because we have a God who wants to provide and wants his children to give freely. We often feel like one of our ministries is simply to work hard so that we have more to give and to let people borrow our stuff whenever it's needed. This is in no way to say that we are uber-godly and have it all figured out, but only to show that we were NOTHING like this before someone confronted us.

Finally, the way that I view service in ministry is completely different because a faithful sister exhorted me to serve hard trusting God that he will not withhold any good thing from me and that he will give me rest and joy even when I serve wholeheartedly. Again, what joy there is in serving the body of Christ without fear! If I had not be specifically exhorted to serve to the point that I'm a little uncomfortable, then I wouldn't have grown in maturity.

It was refreshing for me to think through how life changing biblical exhortation and encouragement has been in my life over the last several years. I really want to be more humble and more receptive when people lovingly point out how I can grow. It's hard because I love my sin and I don't want to be uncomfortable, but there certainly is joy in doing what serves my Savior.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend...

2010-01-14T15:02:00.000-08:00

If I had to identify my giftedness I would say part of my gift is exhortation and encouragement. I feel so inclined to speak truth into people's lives that I often need to hold back so as not to speak too quickly and without prayer. Sometimes my words have hurt people. My words have often hurt my husband. One of the things about me that makes me so sad is that I too often speak out of anger and frustration then out of love and grace. I want to be faithful to the Lord to use my giftedness and to speak truth into people's lives, but also to be patient and prayerful and wait on the Lord to change people.

A friend and I have been studying 2 Corinthians together and today we met to talk about chapter 7. This is probably the most thorough passage in Scripture that talks about repentance. In 1 Corinthians Paul spends most of the letter rebuking and exhorting the church at Corinth because they were caught in sin. This letter he often points out how much he loves them and how he longs to see their growth in Christ. He knows that he said a lot of things that were hard for them to hear, but he sees now that they have repented and they have REAL fruit of repentance. They are right with God and they can experience the joy of the Lord now!

This was a great reminder to me to stay faithful to speak truth into people's lives even though it's hard and scary and I'm afraid people will hate me. I know that I'm sinful and I know that I can often speak "truth" out of pride and anger, but I want to be faithful to speak truth when my heart is right and their is a genuine need in another person's life for them to hear what God might have to say to them. Chris often reminds me of this Proverb, "Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances." I'm learning to slow down, pray for others and search my own heart before I jump into exhortation.

My memory verse this week is Proverbs 27:5-6. I'm thankful that God wants us to be faithful to speak truth into each other's lives even when they may not want to hear it. I'm thankful that he gives us clear instruction on how to do it. And I'm thankful for the faithful wounds of friends that love me dearly.

Planning Again...

2010-01-12T09:05:00.000-08:00

Like I mentioned before, I love to plan. I decided in order to make my blogging time purposeful, I want to participate in a 1000 Graces. Every Monday this group of believers sets their hearts on being thankful to the Lord by listing the many things in their lives they have to be thankful for. I know it's not Monday, but I'll start now!

1. A husband that has so clearly been given to me for the purpose of growing me in Christ likeness

2. A church that loves Jesus and wants to live in Gospel community

3. Chris' job... thank you Lord that your ways are higher than our ways and that we can trust you with each decision made!

4. My down jacket

Shelter in the Time of Storm

2010-01-12T08:14:00.000-08:00

When I get new running shoes I suddenly have a deep desire to run. When I get new climbing gear, I'm always up for climbing. I decided that maybe if I get a new blog, I'll be excited enough about it to actually use it! I was kind of tired of Wordpress and I wanted something more lovely... which I think I achieved quite nicely with this new background. I've been thinking lately that I need to be better about jotting down my thoughts and more specifically about "spurring one another on to love and good deeds." I have a few friends who have blogs that are so encouraging and I really want to follow in their step and use this as a venue to encourage others and at the same time keep everyone updated on what Chris and I have been up to.

I just finished reading a book by Paul Tripp called, "Shelter in the Time of Storm". The whole book is on Psalm 27 and what it means to suffer well. I have been so encouraged by the simple truths found in this Psalm! I can often respond sinfully when God's plans are different mine...and I ALWAYS have a plan. Whether it is a plan for an evening with Chris, a morning run, or a day at work, I always have my heart set on something. God is once again teaching me the simple truth of his Sovereignty. His plans are better than mine and his ways are so much higher. When my plan doesn't work out quite like I wanted it to, I can trust that it wasn't the best plan after all. Praise the Lord for this! I'm so thankful that I serve a God who is wiser than me and who is motivated out of love when he ordains difficult things to happen to me.

On a side note, last night Chris and I were watching some videos of prosperity Gospel teachers and it struck me how very anti-Gospel these men and women are. God is so clear in his word that he wants us to suffer. When we suffer we become more like Jesus! To tell the world that God only wants for us what WE want for us (health and wealth) is taking God off the throne and replacing him with man. This is such a shallow and wrong view of God. John Piper said the other day that when we get to heaven we won't look back at our suffering and think, "Oh, now I see why God allowed me to suffer in that way." Rather, we'll look back at our lives and see no suffering at all. We'll only see circumstances ordained by a loving God that He gave us sufficient grace to endure and that made us more like the most perfect being to ever walk the earth. This is such an encouragement to me! It redefines suffering from a man-centered, self-serving view, to a God-centered, God-glorifying view of suffering.